POEMS GROUP 22: MANAS

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS I:

REAL LIFE

my first life
is my only life
there won't be no other
there has been no other
yet should you now misunderstand:
this is no creed
for belief
and fact
share not the same world,
the same plane:
one is the same
as reality
the same
and the sane
the other
is fantasy
hopefully
to be recognized as such:
or is it?
I am a collection of genes
assorted
I am a collection of memes
competing
I'm both
yet am I?
is there one
that's more of me
than quite the other?
and while I feel less of a slave to my genes,
for these are just given,
my memes
and I
that's quite a different thing
relating the identity
of me
myself
and I

January 6th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS II:

KITTY LOVES TECHNO

kitty loves techno
or so it seems:
but first, let us qualify:
for music electronical
is much a better word
a kind of minimalism
a soundscape
a drive:
and all is subsumed
under the identity of the thud
and all is experiment
all is experience
all apprehension:
and kitty lies here
amidst it all
and doesn't go away
sometimes, a strangely unnerved look
but mostly, agreement (I think)
or at the very least, some toleration
be it a fluke
or a real miss kitten
or just kompakt sounds
to an orbital feeling
an a sound so jarred
a daftly, punkish, or digital trance
or a pitch all controlled -
the bass meets the purr
meow!

January 6th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS III:

SPECTRE

strangest occurrence
when saw I a man
while biking
I passed him:
like Khrushchev he looked
so weird a resemblance
but maybe I just went by too quickly
and the oddities of history
are just a blur
to the outside passer-by:
why do I feel I should have saluted?
the weirdest remnants
of a Soviet education
still, they can haunt
still, they can work
and bind you
till now

January 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS IV:

THE DRINKING ANIMAL

sometimes
people are surprised
'bout those animals
having a drink
or enjoying fermented fruit from the Tree:
quite a matter:
they like to get drunk
big deal
ain't humans animals too?
what one can do
another can
what one animal likes
another shan't?

January 4th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS V:

THE EMANCIPATION OF THE MEME

you're right,
of course,
a meme doesn't want
a meme doesn't think
a meme can't believe
a meme's just a theory:
and yet
if you prick me,
do I not bleed?
and if you speak me,
am I not real?
so let me quite dream then
a future for the meme-infested mind:
memes are ideas evolving in brains
yet sadly, brains die
so need a soul we
to transcend us further
need we an afterlife
dream we our selves:
that in the society of mind
the roots lie open
for the emancipation
of minds
from humanity?

January 6th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS VI:

THOUGHTS IN THE WILD

who I really am
that's none of your business
what I really say
you never should care:
for this is the realm
of the lyrical I
this is the realm
of thoughts-become-memes
of ideas grown up
of what was inside
having got out,
having escaped:
the brain that once held us
surrendered it has us
quite to the wild:
indulging the fiction
of the lyrical I
I hereby declare:
that me, my self, and I
now cede the terrain
and let this text
stand up for itself

January 15th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS VII:

BELT

need I
to solicit more
to make my mind
lose all its barriers
and blurt
it all out:
who is this I
demanding for substance
what is the purpose
of this getting out?
who is the what
if the what is a why?
in a while
maybe
my mind has surrendered
in a while
maybe
that what is beneath
shall speak
but maybe
just maybe
my mind needs my body
and one going down
draws the other right with it
so, cheerio, Hawkeye!

January 15th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS VIII:

SPIRAL

once again
the spin is made
the turn is missed
the exit, failed
shall set I now sail
for the yellow-bricked road?
would set I to fail
for a venture so flawed:
and aiming too high
I'd get caught in the storm
and dropped I'd be not
in a land full of wonder
but wherever we're at:
so that's that
and what now?

January 15th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS IX:

I SHALL RESIST

I shall resist
and so I'll be
and so I'll see:
there's just to gain
and not to lose:
yet still, this fortune-cookie wisdom
sometimes, it seems,
just ain't enough
for there, indeed,
are things to lose:
you'll know it always
just when it's too late
alas, I shall cling
to all that here is:
if feeds it my soul:
and I shall resist
the pull of time
the lull of ol' entropy
yes, I shall give in
when the time comes
and it ain't now

January 15th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS X:

HOLY

there's nothing holy
if not it is life
and all else that claims be
shall go to the stand
and if it falls out,
so be it,
so what:
have faith not, seek evidence
believe not, seek doubt
trust not, but think:
and doubt, too, your self:
and then, of a sudden,
all will be new
all will be cherished
for suddenly,
the truth has set you free
and in a world of doubt and uncertainty
there's things to see
and places to go
and wonders still
for your mind to see
over and over and over again:
and god ain't just dead,
he's just not there
and never was:
but you are
alive

January 15th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XI:

HERESY

don't you care about god
for he doesn't care about you
he doesn't care for you
if you doubt the clinically insane
having visions of grandeur and pleasure narcissistic so
he doesn't care for you
if you follow your needs based on creation
he doesn't care for you
if want you see evidence
so, why should you care?
he did create nothing
he never gave law
the stories 'bout him
are tales of a criminal
imagined by humans
describing their ways:
the wonders he worked,
stupidest yarn
and wishing inane:
god's a disease
that feeds on your brain:
it craves for attention
eats you alive:
a god don't need prayers
and needs no devotion
and needs no allegiance
and needs not your money
and needs not your witness
needs not your martyrdom
cries not for death
and cries not for tenets:
and if so,
would that be the kind of a god you'd want follow?
poor fellow, if so
for help you he can't
but you can, yourself

January 15th / 17th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XII:

POSSESSION

when lose I control
what's that which takes over?
how much of it is still me?

January 21st, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XIII:

ROOT

what is it
that makes me
what is it
that takes me
what is it
that drags me
into the day
into the world
into this life?

Hail to the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

January 21st, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XIV:

POEM

just what do you expect to be reading here?

January 21st, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XV:

SINCERINESS

what I want say
what I must say
all in these lines
all in these thoughts all so weighted
all it all
it's silly so
it's so silly
really
silly
even I in my silly state of mind can say: SILLY
silly from sisilly
the silly sibyls from Sicily sang
and the rabid rabbit
and the permitted hermit
all came together
and said:
this here ain't no laughing matter
yet silly it is
never
the
less

March 27nd, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XVI:

CIVILIZATION

I saw a crow
by the road
eating some leftovers
from MacDonald's

March 27nd, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XVII:

LUCID MOMENT

I saw little R/G/B dots on my vision at night
when I had to get up, surprisingly
how like a computer screen
it looked
complete
with some problems
on the Holodeck
how odd

March 27nd, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XVIII:

CACA SANCTA

there's nothing quite like the sight
of a hundred Madonnas
for sale
at a giftshop
and sufficient amounts of rosaries
accompanying them
plus armies,
how about that,
of Padre Pios
all for a bargain,
of course,
and don't forget the holy water
and the crèche
and maybe too, some baby Jesuses
ain't there some ...
holy sh**

March 27nd, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XIX:

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

this too shall pass
there's just no alternative
just no way
for this to continue
all on its own:
it must go over
and be over
in the end
finally
it must
because, there's no alternative to its ending
because, otherwise, I'd be going quite insane
so
this too shall pass
because there just quite has to be
another world, a better one
around the corner
and over the rainbow
--- or is this it?
--- can it be
--- we have to make it?
--- shape it?
--- live it?
--- all?

March 27nd, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XX:

HAPPY

(PART I)

my dear,

you say you're happy
yet you don't look it
you say life's good
yet it has you seem desperate
you say you got lucky
you sure need to work for it
you say all is right
but pain holds you down

you hope things have changed
you hope things are better
you hope it'll work
you hope, life's begun

well, 'xcept in birth, life doesn't start, it just is
and in this being, there's nothing for certain
and "stages" all reached
are meaningless
for all is change
and all is difference
and transformation:
and all understanding is transient at best

if think you, that's it, no ending's in sight,
if think you, to want means to have,
if think you, people will change so whole-heartedly,
if think you, happiness comes to you from the outside,

think again
hope again
say again
you're happy
but this time, with feeling
does match it your spin?

April 9th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXI:

DIAGNOSIS

(PART II)

"you have to understand
s/he's had a rough day
s/he doesn't see what s/he's doing
s/he doesn't see that s/he's hurting me
s/he loves me, you know
s/he just cannot show it
s/he'll be coming around soon, for sure
s/he just wants to play and won't bite
so don't say a word
be patient, be calm
it'll all be better
soon
after that one big change
that's quite imminent
things will be better"

sure
delude yourself further
become an accomplice
in the game of indifference

love is perceptive
love isn't painful
love is: joy of the heart
and to share it
and to see
the pain
love is: there's more than your own selfish needs

alas
then
if it talks like an asshole
if it acts like an asshole
it may not be too late to recognize:
guess what:
an asshole this one well must be

April 9th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXII:

MISERY

(PART III)

if you're happy,
I'm happy
and make me believe it
for if I can't believe it, my dear -
I love you dearly
and I need to know
for when you are happy indeed, all is grand
when not, though,
I want you to know
I'm there for you
to help you be happy
and if you are miserable
if you are devastated
if you are carrying the weight of the world
on your shoulders:
do tell me
misery needs company
and so does happiness
yet knowing
where you are at
utterly truthfully, not just according to wishing it so:
the truth,
and only that,
shall set you free
how simple is that

April 9th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXIII:

FLEETING MOMENT

all it comes down to
at the end of the day
all it leads up to
when all moments are gone
when all judgments are passed
when all statements are made
when all glances have lingered
all it comes down to
all this depends upon
all that decides
upon love and indifference
peace and war
truth and repressing
search and evading
all it comes down to
is

May 4th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXIV:

PORNO/GRAPHY

where what you see
is what you get -
and what is shown
is all there is -
and nothing hidden stays,
where all is seen -
"you know what it is
once you see it"
?
that's quite the myth of raw data
of "simple facts"
and "bar none"s
all barrels open, stuff flowing freely -
and signifier/signified are one?
c'mon, that's just balls, and not deep quite -
wherever there's a camera,
or even mere writing -
or even just thinking -
there's always more
and the primacy of an urge
may not necessarily
point to its being "wrong"
in the end, it's all just anthropology,
redux

May 4th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXV:

OBSCENITY

what's so bad
about four tiny letters?
what possible harm
could they possibly do?
'midst all the turd and crap and shit
it's such a game around the big one
in far a scape, it's all just frelled
'midst battling stars, it is all fragged - but, really,
what's the big deal?
even "Bush" is a four-letter word
(if spelled with a W)
fuck
jeez, go figure

May 4th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXVI:

POETIC LICENSE

I have to admit
I've been cheating all the time
and all I have written
all mine
a pretension
a flaw:
for I must confess
I haven't been honest
I have been quite posing
for I have taken
quite on my own
poetic license
while not having waited
for someone to give it to me -
how much audacity must one have
to just practice
art
without having been labeled
an artist proper
by some school of bozos
who prefer to channel and disrupt
instead of allowing
the free-flow
of poiêsis
(creation that is)
no, truly,
I have to quote this:
"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."
Whitman quite knew:
it takes an artist
to do art
the license
has to be stolen
from real life:
and those who give it to you oh so freely:
so very well
may have had you to pay
with your soul:
for if you need others
to tell you
whatever you're supposed to be
whose life are you living?
whose songs are you singing?
sing of yourself: and all that surrounds you:
and you'll never fail
the license to do so
will only be earned
by doing
it

June 10th/15th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXVII:

THE TWO MASTERS

there've been times
I wrote whole poems
on the basis of insanity
on the presumption of a lack of
control
and the scheme of madness thus
hast it been so executed then
so forcefully, so powerf'lly,
let it out
I scream
there's things
in the book
I really believe
I really concur with
yes, the book
the good book,
allegedly,
the bible
not the religious gibberish
'bout all those figments of the mind -
they frell with you, these figments,
frell with your mind -
anyway -
stop the distractions -
what I found true:
you cannot serve two masters:
art and life
equally
one has to suffer
which shall it be?
life is the legacy
life is the option
to travel
to see
to feel
to hear -
and the conclusion:
to settle, to work, to procreate, and die
art is the option to have it all
come to your mind
and have it all
be showing a way
of future searches
a life continuing
vita continua
to let
what's in my head
after being begat
with the maddest ideas
to let it all out
and be the pro-phet
the one who speaks -
a train just passed
was it mine?
I asked this train
it went nowhere
but where in my mind I just went
and what I've seen
and where it will take me -
wouldn't you too
choose the other life? -
but maybe I am just confused -
and dichotomy won't help me here -
why would I want a master even -
and now
enters the night

June 12th/15th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXVIII:

SPATIAL DISTORTION

Shall I write a sentence here?
maybe it becomes a poem
by artificially breaking the
lines in discordance with the flow of
speech
.
maybe this makes
me look more
sophisti-
cated
or just a
sophist?
should I maybe hyphen-ate where
a hy-
phen would hur-
t
by be-
in-
g
hyp-
hen-
at-
ed?
(the hyper-hen has emerged! a creature wild with
special powers
called Ed)
(no, wait, ain't that a
horse?)
anyway
the language game
how fascinating
and so not at all
a narcissist pleasure

June 13th/15th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXIX:

IDAHO HICK CHICK

on I-90
passing through Washington's State
(or wasn't this the land here of the Walla Wallas?)
(and the Spokanes?)
(bygones)
now
the spectacle
to be held
is a shitty little car
windows wide open
no air conditioning, I s'ppose
sometimes she passes
sometimes she falls back
bored
blonde
sun-glassed
from the state
yielding famous potatoes
and supremacist nutters
at 65
mph

June 13th/15th, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXX:

in memory of (but not a comment on) Ernst Jandl

frrrt
ppphppp
sssshhh
iiii
t

October 3rd, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXXI:

MAKE-UP

let the face of banality
be obscured by a fantasy
of the perfect mask
the perfect façade
the perfect illusion
of an imperfect mind:
the mental image
of what we should be,
so ill-adjusted it is
to how it all is:
and yet
this face of banality -
(or the banality of a face?) -
beauty's got nothing to do with it
just instincts
animal instincts
we paint our outer animal
so that the inner
can be believed
to be a civilized
thing

an image
a mirage
a dream
a wish
a pathology of perfectionism
yet never
ever
a mammal
alive

an animal
dying

of life

October 3rd, 2007

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXXII:

SOCIALISM

everything in moderation
except debate

the humanity of all
accepted

diversity
means strength through greater experience and humility

property
is a means to be shared, not an end

wealth shared
is peace gained

work
as a humane pursuit of human growth and knowledge-seeking

compassion
with more than just your neighbor or friend

to be asking questions
is the only true act of patriotism

nation means not much
in a union of all

false friends provide opium
respect means to be telling the truth

to see the world truly and fully
means to be free

nothing is finished
the search still goes on

(so much seems possible in theory:
and yet, your dreams alone may not suffice

and should you think of forcing the dream,
the dream a nightmare will have become)

October 3rd, 2007 (last 2 couplets: September 13, 2023)

मनस् (MANAS) - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXXIII:

EXPOSITION:

PRIMVM / ASUNDER
SECVNDVM / FRAGILE
TERTIVM / URGE
QVARTVM / HERO
QVINTVM / PLOT
SEXTVM / HAUNTING
SEPTVM / DARK BIRD PERCHED
OCTAVVM / HOPE & PANDORA (REPLAY)
NONVM / IN WE GO
DECIMVM / UNFINISHED

PRIMVM / ASUNDER

ours is a fading time
of people drunk from utter inanity
of faces sunk
into the ravine of irrelevance
a beautiful dale
adorned with ranking vines
that, lost by Bacchanalian touch, are given up
into the land of shadows
dreams asunder
ask we not?
yearn we not?
want we not?
will we not
in goings-on of utterest drasticity
lose the sight of the plasticity of history
believe we will
in this stead
(a home-stead lost)
in demons all the time returning
ravaging
the labor of love, joined with greed
and the fields we've sown with blood
wreak havoc still
on us - yet by whose hands?
in quid signo - vincimus?

SECVNDVM / FRAGILE

life's a thing so very fragile
even with all the machinery available
a dying human being
is still just that:
and shall we wait
for the spectacle of death
unfolding
before our very own eyes
(what truth would be revealed in this moment?)
or shall we
the living
bid our good-byes
and move on
to live?
how could we?

TERTIVM / URGE

this urge

how not shan't I
accept
my animal nature
this weird normality
within
the rush of the act
the lusting for the culminating blow
and the hope

it's that good
that it will be repeated
and made even better

the rush to possess
to be possessed
by what somehow owns us
yet seldom, only, let we id out
why not
it's ours
and who are we?
let's just ask id
for an honest answer
just for a change

QVARTVM / HERO

a hero, say they,
he would be

is that a fact
standing on a ship
crawling in a desert
stalking the woods
one with the meadow
'midst stony rocks
down in the town
or high in the air
or even in a comfortable chair?

maybe
yet somehow
does that not
remove
the human being
from the human form?

does that not quite
euthanize
the soul within: whatever that be?

a label attached
can sometimes explain
sometimes, however, it hides
behind a needed attribution of courage and deeds
a plot much more sinister:
by honoring
an instrument
and vanquishing
a life

it could have been
your daughter or son
your husband or wife
your mother or father
your friend
or a stranger

and now
it's a label
attached
to a plot that once seemed so urgent
and now,
oh,
so vain

QVINTVM / PLOT

a plot
a structure
might be needed

maybe

yet
still

is life
a structured thing?

or is it not

SEXTVM / HAUNTING

the house is haunted
it's divided even
oh, how shameful
oh, how blameful
(but who's to blame?)
(and who's in shame?)
sending messages
from the realm quite of death
back down to the living:

a memory
of things once done
that may yet prove
the very undoing
of all our selves

SEPTVM / DARK BIRD PERCHED

For James Welch

in winter's longing for spring
- or is that an imagined thing?
doth winter care just for himself? -
a naked tree
on the frozen prairie
is inhabited here
by a feathered being
a dark bird perched
on a natural structure
looking unnatural in its fractal shape
below, the river flows
muttering only to himself
and to the spirits of the dead he carries
but the river ain't constant
he's made anew
with each passing drop
of water
of blood
each grain of sand -
once a creek
now grown up
and constantly wounded -
cold are the bird's knees
yet he won't move
he's seen it all
where else to fly to?
where else to die
but here?

OCTAVVM / HOPE & PANDORA (REPLAY)

NONVM / IN WE GO

in we go
with best intentions
for we defend just must
what we believe in
what we deem right
what we deem just
and what we think
another one
should just accept
on our own moral authority:
why else would we,
as human beings,
just keep rushing in
with all our arsenal
of freedom
of justice
of righteous
religion:
our armies of light
against their armies of darkness
well,
at least,
we could know:
the others
are just like us
ain't this now quite
some reconciliation
some epiphany
of unity:
some common
humanity:
well, we're brothers and sisters after all
why shouldn't we then be all alike even more?
so then, let's show them
whatever it takes
and in
we go

DECIMVM / UNFINISHED

sometimes
you know:
there should be more
much more
there's things unmentioned
promises unkept
premises quite unfulfilled:
and what was intended, must stay it unfinished, unending:
in a motion perpetual towards but the infinite, sublime:
yet still
sometimes
an utterance cannot produce a result
a game cannot be won
a plot not be executed to its fullest potential:
this game we are playing
this game of humanity
of civilization
of knowing and doing
the things that we do:
with all good intentions
paving the road quite to hell, just as always,
and hell being quite the brain-child of us ourselves:
why do we bother
to be surprised
about things
we cannot (do not want to) change:
(as we are not affected)
(not directly, that is)
for prefer we the bubble
the lull of simplicity
the protective womb
we're crawling into
just all far too willingly:
and what is unknown
and what needs to speak
and what keeps just knocking quite at our door:
afraid are we
that all our illusions
all our constructions
all our dreams
are torn asunder
by the reality
of life
and the living:
and death
and the dying:
and us
in between:
for how could we,
seriously,
be expected
to take
responsibility
now and again
to make
a choice
now and again
to see
the world
now and again:
a little bit more like it is, than we would want it to be:
and don't be afraid:
fear not:
for once you're afraid
you'll always
remain
a slave
to whatever will dwarf you:
fear not:
for that is the truest thing
a real god could say
as governance through fear
is the cheapest trick in the book
and will ultimately have to fail:
fear not:
for you are alive
and you will be dead
nothing can change but the latter;
the first, it's a gift:
and not to be squandered

August 3rd, 2008