XLI. THE DARK
surrounded
by a knowing, soothing everything
held in the darkness
to be some day
let go
we're made in an image
of expectation mostly
and this place
of strangest, old gravity
keeps pulling us back
from the depths
of reality
from the depths
we keep calling
for a transcended image
in the clouds
bearing
that mark of expectation:
de profundis
clamamus a te
in profundis
(in the depths)
we're looking
we're searching
for someone there
to replace
the well of gravity
so lost
XLII. THE LIGHT
the dark
once penetrated
by a ray of light
a wedge
pushing itself in
seems so much starker
so much darker
yet still
there's this contrast
this option
arising
out of the void
of negation:
twinkle, twinkle, says it almost
in a blaze of glory all
and now: a passage appearing
an opening
slide we
t'wards the new
the unexpected
the unknown: a source of amazement
and wonder
hope
fear
should go we
or stay?
the choice isn't ours
we go
with the flow
of blood
pouring
flushing us out
'nto the cold
XLIII. THE CRY
how now so
with all of this
all forced here upon us
how now so
should we react
but with a cry
an ambiguity of sorts:
with terror filled our gaze
and amazement:
how now so
could we be thrown out so like this
but fascinating it's so much!
XLIV. THE GRASP
wanna hold
wanna touch
wanna grab
wanna grasp
want it all
show it
give it
make it
now
it's all so much
it's all so new
and time's so few
we feel it always
get it on
and do it now:
you know that you want it
as well
XLV. THE GASP
now we have it
have it all
(or are we had?)
through all that's here
in time, seen clear:
weren't told we 'bout Midas?
Ulysses?
and Faustus?
(well, why should we listen
we go
with the flow)
and pop! goes the weasel
XLVI. ENTWINED
some seek an island
a refuge
a place
so removed
so away
from all that's feared
from what is said
from what is done:
collective endeavors
endeavor collectives we?
collect we
connections
connect we
collections
of people
of things
tie we so webs
connecting
and trapping
to hold?
to protect?
to devour --
at last?
XLVII. ALONE
once there was sanity
once was inanity
of doing
what was wanted so
and tied to a game
tied to a meaning
names all
and words:
just words
and unjust ones
meaning
no, meaning nothing
we mean
or I?
mean I
on my own?
mean I
or does the world?
(means it all and not to better)
turns!
what turns?
shall we take turns?
who lives?
who dies?
or shall we connect:
collate all that here
and thread them
and bind them
a catalog of life all visible
a library of blood
and minds:
mind we not
the rejection of the I?
shall seek I
or want I be sought?
shall want I
or want to be wanted?
shall make I
or want to be made?
and even if not all the time
some moments there are, I'd like to unweave
what's holding me
tying me
trying me
by standards
of --
of what?
shall value I sanity
value what's right
value what's wanted.
or value I
what's neither-nor
and so unwanted
cause "want" would be something?
for in the end
(and in the beginning)
there's just an I
opening eyes
only to close them
again
and in between
what has id seen? and done? and
lived?
XLVIII. ENSHRINED
some things
we know
some things
we don't
some things
we don't even wanna get close to
to know
whether we can know
or not
we build walls
erect castles
of protection, some say,
of ignorance, others
when go into the desert we
intend we to see
something else
than what's in what's known?
prefer inaction we
over change for the uncertain
or hope we
while do we
and ask we
what is it about?
what worth is a voyage
when track you have lost
of who you are
and what it is that you want
and even if
wanting is dangerous
it's still the essence
of what we call life
a want without wanting
or a wanting, without want?
if pursue we
do we shape what's to come
or are we shaped
by mere a notion
of what's in a
life?
TREATISE ON LIFE
names are mixing in my head
flowing right into themselves:
people are one,
and symbols become they
for others unlike them but similar still
how do I separate
the fata morgana
from what's really there?
treat I now life as a whatnot a thing as a thing to be treated be treated as something as some thing alive and as something quite living, an entity quite, yes, an entity quiet quiescing our worries quiescing our night - alive we're so surely, would pose we the question (the question!) if weren't we? how stupid a thought: when see we us doing, are but we alive? but see we? but do we? and live we (in turn) (or by definition) define we (what not) define we (what's life) define we (combine we) the known with what's not known, the live with the dark? with the ark? what save we? what would we save? what would you be saving? would save you the past or the present or future? would save you posterity? save you a life? and save you, alive, or save while you're dying? want live you? want die you? draw energy from life or from death? I tell you, my dearest, times are when all I want do is to die, and I could, and this option itself seems salvation so like - I could end it, I know that, so why not continue, for matter it doesn't - and I get to see what's out there, what's not, and all outer limits shall limit me not - I'm dead, don't you see, and so I'm alive - for nothing can hurt me if not it's my self - and life is life for the sake of life and for nothing else and nothing else will hold here, my dear, except love and tears, yes, tears we have plentiful, and love, well, you know ...
oh, frell, I was drunk
whilst having written
this
I let id reign freely
and shocked I quite am
but not 'bout the contents
but 'bout quite the clarity
denied by sobriety
enshrining
what wants not be seen
what want not see we
over all
the I
must be believed to reign free
in the protection
of what sanctions it over all
that not be felt
the wilderness
the thing
underneath
XLIX. A CLONE
so, shall aim we
t' overcome
the emptiness inside
and perceived to come after
by seeking the own
in the other
by making the other
an own?
seek we but company
or seek we complacency just
a mirror
for the image
we like to adore?
L. AND GONE?
what went we out
into the desert?
to see?
and what have we seen?
and like we
what seen we have?
if seen we at all?
carry inside us we
anything else
than could here be seen?
oh, seen we it all
what remains to be seen
seems an answer
in deeds
not mere words
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