XLI: DREAMING
have to go on
have to retain
what's lost not
still here
have to hold on
have to regain
what's lost now
and shaken
sense in the senselessness
purpose in what's defying purpose?
sense
anti-sense
life
anti-life
how could we do it
recognizing
the good
from the bad
if all's so interlinked
and clinging
together all
apart, some times
but not in its essence
not in its soul
(a mere construction that, I know
but you don't explain software
in the terms of hardware
commonly
that wouldn't make sense
though body makes soul
the soul might take flight
on its own)
there's a meaning
not just in us
quite so, out there
a something (we've made)
that's not out of nature
not in these words
DNA's not good, not bad
and in the woods,
the place of evil
is the place of good
and there's no separation there:
the Lodges Black and White are one
two souls, alas,
now fighting in our hearts
we make it good
we make it bad
all categories new
exapted from nature!
adapted
by us
a dream
of recognition all
to tell what's good
to tell what's bad
the story's back
through the least of all likely routes!
the original sin: to want to know!
nature knows pain
nature knows joy
it doesn't know good
it doesn't know bad
as own quite such terms
yet sometimes, pain's good
and sometimes, joy's bad
dream we of goodness
dream we of joy
wake we through pain though
disturbed
in our pleasure
disturbed
in our complacency
dreaming
of an end to toiling
an end to foiling!
sometimes
we dream of purpose
dream of means we
to achieve
an end
a result
an end to dreaming?
a dream-world
that's an end in itself?
dream we now
that things that done
could be undone
that things that spoken
be they unspoken
that thoughts that thought
be they unthought
oh, be they unthought of!
(for unthinkable quite some things here must seem!)
deem we
the dream
becoming reality?
the thinking becoming action?
the simulacra
to appear
within the real?
sometimes, we dream
and the dreams can be read
and the letters
revealing
an origin
accessible
know we not
hear we not
see we not
in dreams
in dreams
in dreams
but what dreamt the dreamer?
XLII: FEELING
nothing comes close
the familiar being
I've fallen dependent on
I've fallen quite prey on
I've fallen
and lost
yet still
why must she still
be here
poisoning my every line?
I want her be here
but if she ain't
'tis up to me
I almost feel I need to rewrite every word
yet still
what's done is done
what's said is said
what's felt is felt
why should I need to hide
my want
yet still
is it quite prudent?
is it quite logical?
is it quite purposeful?
some things quite aren't
(meaning, there's a purpose, yet it eludes us for now)
some things just are
some things are
just feeling
XLIII: KNEELING
feel we not
feel we not
a presence greater
presence grander
presence larger
than life itself
(ours, that is)
a being
transcending being
a being-ness
transcending all knowing
transcending all growing
not to be grown into quite?
feel we?
or want we feel?
see we?
or want we see?
world's a being caught and broken
caught is then its final purpose?
caught inside
its whisper, cry?
a train towards a destination?
a road to go and governed somehow?
an end determined?
or an ending?
(or determinable quite?)
a beginning!
and a history before that beginning?
god spake?
what would speak:
an everything, no time quite contained in it
time is energy
time's a thing
existing
in a limited way
in the beginning
time was born
in the end
it well may end
if falls together it all
if falls together at all
the fabric of reality
if logos
arrives at a telos
if intertwined
all gets
and ceases quite
to be
but maybe
(perchance)
there's a way out
(to dream)
through the looking glass
a way out
looking in
from quite the outside
looking then
quite like the first time
a look adventurous and bold
a look
(a book?)
(a book to write)
(a book once written?)
(contained in the library of Babel?)
(the library of Mendel?)
(the library of all that is?)
(of all that could be)
(would be?)
(should be?)
be it
that we see in riddles only
be it
that we see through glass just darkly
that we see
what cannot be seen
any way else?
see we the thing
(the thing as such)
kan't we quite see
the world as it is
can't we quite be
the way we should be?
the way it should be?
what norm is that
what norms it that way?
a natural law?
a natural awe
of the forces of life?
the forces in us
can force we the moves
can force we the game
can force we the name!
and names quite of power
and names quite of awe
unnatural names
names not of nature
not of mortality
not of our making?
now, are we shaking
and shaking in awe
and making in law
what makes us
what moves us
what drives us
or is it it
driving us
making us kneel before altars and shrines
and letters
alive?
XLIV: SEEING
I can see clearly now the sky is gone
and heaven's gone with it (yet hell quite not, sadly so) (if hell is indifference) (hell is the sum of all worst our intentions) (all best our intentions) the path to hell's quite paved with them (through darkness, light?) (through light to dark?) when I consider the cathedral formed by the woods, its treetops the roof, hardly even some light shining through, some crawlers, some gliders on top (gliders eaten in the game of life?) it's absurd (how original) never, no, irony, never you leave me (or maybe you'd have to) (without you, am I more me? more me than quite what?) (without) (within) all's contained within (without quite a reason) reasoning schmeasoning - yet aren't there reasons for reason? reasons for quite going on? give me a reason! one should suffice! (eat-survive-reproduce) need we a reason? need we a reason! a reason, a plan - aren't we quite obsessed with reason-finding, reason-minding, reason - climbing mount improbable, mountingly improbable that reason is, yet still, where's the choice? where's the other route to go? cranes, not skyhooks / yes, give me Cranes, Frasier, Niles, Martin (the Crane with a cane) babbling psychos, babbling of life, bubbling with life, begging for life, seest thou not, imitate art, imitate life, mimick the artist, mimicking life! see you a reason in life lacking art? in art lacking life?
I can see clearly now the sky appeared
and heaven quite with it (all notion of hell's gone now) forever (as hell is indifference) and this now, the end (that's about to appear) (an end quite as ending) (an end quite as purpose) will all be but indifferent (will be it all) (but not indifferent) seeing (an ending making quite sense) seeing (an end we can live with) seeing (an end we can die with) the end of pain, of worry, waiting, caring now in all the truest sense and purpose, caring whether live or die we, caring that we live, and that but death is just another page
I can see clearly now the sky is gone
and heaven's quite in its place (sometimes, you need to know all) (sometimes, you just need to know enough in order to act) (sometimes you've slept enough) need to wake now
XLV: WAKING
in order to wake
you must have slept
you should have dreamt
XLVI: SHOWING
I want to show you the world, my child
her wonders and terrors
the good with the bad
the simple magnificence
all in its workings
all in its majesty
all in its wake:
for that's how it goes
and that's how it is
nature's quite
the way it is
not 'cause it should be
not because someone just said so
it's how it is
and simple rules
(in utter complexity)
and we inside
and we in sight!
and we, incited here
to see
to speak
to do
to show:
I want to show you the world, my dear
how out of the fog of ages past
life's come to pass
and moves now all over
some crawling
some digging
some swimming
some walking
some soaring up high
a rainbow of options
of ways
and of means
what means it all? oh, that's just human obsession with cause
but prior to cause
shan't look we at things, how all quite unfolds?
a cat so daringly and soothingly
looking at me
so quite like a deity
a dog so fearfully, adoringly
looking at me
so quite like a deity
and us in the middle
wondering
whoever is right?
look quite at a flower we
a rose quite red
and filled so with mystery
all our emotions
leading quite up to it
a red one
of hope
of some day
presenting it
to another
or being given it
whichever way
a function, attached
to the nature at hand
(but shows us a rose how its wants it be treated?)
shows quite us nature, how shall we possess it?
is but a flower
a gift to be given
a snack to be eaten
a thing to be used
to be plucked and
de-flowered?
is that a telos
or something that happens?
and what of the pollen
carried away by the bee
what of the bee
drinking the nectar of roses, of flowers of shapes, colors diff'rent?
what of their honey?
see we a telos
see we a purpose
see we a cause
or see we
just life?
the black cat meowed at a fly passing by
and a crow waited on road-kill by the side of a truck
a bear coming out of the woods, looking at tourists looking at him
and an octopus came to play with the divers
while the dog went to go for a swim
the black cat, again, talked to a squirrel
(which he may have killed later that day)
and squirrels go nuts for the nuts thrown to them
in Battery Park, the squirrels feared pigeons coming too close
(maybe sensed a sense of the dinosaurs living in them)
while in Trieste, a penguin complained 'bout his cage
and a shark swam in circles
and a coral fish swam to his anemone home
the black looked so jealous when the grey cat brought mice
but yesterday, the black brought a tit,
today but, the grey though returned with a similar kill
(who says, only humans murder for fun...)
while the old one had waited for food from the turkey
the toads, interlocked, they feared not the road
like two bugs, one went forward, one backward, all way,
the he-goat screamed out: he was tied to a tree!
(the scapegoat was killed, any-all-way)
while a dog I once knew wanted to play
and the sparrow flew through the window picking on apples
and tits waited loudly for me to put food out
the squirrel in Bryce was shy not the least
in Yellowstone though, his cousin (?) just fled
and a turtle just didn't quite care in First Landing
and the camel in Egypt
still seemed to know so much more
but knew it of octopussies running two-leggèd like men?
of little wasps living in figs?
of dinosaurs proud, now circling the skies, though much smaller?
of others extinct like them? beings and cultures?
of what once quite came
out of the woods?
knew it, much more, of things you can see
only when looking quite hard
and with help?
a help not transcendental but real
and of science
not tales
of questions
not doctrine
of answers
and not just out of belief?
the pleasure and pain all
pleasure and pain all
not quite with cause
but quite for a reason
and not with directions
and visible all!
(for those who want see)
so different perspectives
converging in beauty
so much I have seen
so much I've been shown
so much I have been
much more want I be
much more want I show
much more want I see
I want you to show me the world, my love
XLVII: MAKING
wake
and make
what you can
what new is then
to climb to the stars
defy all nears and fars
in all your days and the nights
to gather new places and sights
climb up it will now, up to the wake
appear all then will and all is at stake
through building a climax ascending the sky
ascending to the stars but quite
almost like heaven might feel what we reach
a heaven on earth
like we could also the opposite make --
and all we could make is all we could see
when out of the woods we come crawling
in vision and sound all contained
save we but touch, smell, and taste?
lose not touch to what's life?
and what's to be gained?
and what to lose?
see we now?
hear we?
know?
XLVIII: KNOWING
and once we see
see we the forest?
see we the trees?
see we still trees
while climbing to stars,
see we still forests
when roaming the streets?
and if we see
can see we freely
for the sake
of quite our own?
just who is the seer
and who would roam freely?
there are memes both trapped and loose
quite inside my mind
they want break out
(like when they came in?)
I may well quite let them
would quite let them
quite easier, if unrestricted
by my consciousness
holding them here
would be it:
would be I?
would me, my self, and I
(cogito - tum sum? --- but there's no Latin in the woods)
think I - then am I?
am I - then think I?
or think I a me?
and what thinks the I?
how self-less a selfishness!
XLIX: GROWING
drunk now am I
going in circles
growing in circles
that signify life -
those that but say not to get drunk
don't see the prospect of seeing things skewed:
for strangeness makes visible that which's unknown
before:
for discipline's one thing
and play is the other
had I to count
the verses written while sober
and those while quite drunk
the drunk ones would win
the memes unobstructed
the sense not estranged:
the growth not quite hidden
Dionysos here
relieves us from burden
relieves us from pain
relieves from restriction:
that say we quite can
what's now on our minds
what's now in our "souls"
what lacks, is politeness, is caring for damage
what counts now, is honesty
simply quite put
for when I would read now
that writ' in drunken state, read but while sober,
would recognize truth I,
be seeing deceit:
and over diplomacy
choosing the truth:
can child-like-ness be truth,
suddenly?
once I am drunk
see I things clearly
or see them disturbed?
for once I am drunk
my self then gets separate
from what would control it -
am I more me
once lost I the commonwealth
over my self?
the self that seems now separate -
doth speak it volumes 'bout its state?
(strangely, what I just drank, should've knocked me out
it didn't
well, some shocks seem to lose
in anticipation)
I shiver with anticipation!
why shouldn't I
I'm about to do the time-warp
or not?
should I do a time-warp back?
haven't I done that
already?
what could I possibly learn
from the past?
oh, bugger,
I think, I can know
lingering 's bad
move on now I should
doing a time-warp
into the future?
but why look for what can't be seen?
should I not care
for the interests at hand?
for practicality
over all theory?
should not I satisfy
that what is primal
over what's "good"?
is goodness not primal
and "altruism"
the strange result of selfishness so often?
oh, that, again,
seems far too cerebral,
far to thought-out
I need to touch
the elements all
touch quite the earth
touch quite the water
touch quite the air
touch quite the fire!
well, touched it me has
like wine
has to grow
on a vine
is not life
a process
much more than a guided thing?
shall see we more
or see we just differently
once we grow
once we
emerge?
L: GOING
I know I'm not eternal
at all
I know I need to go
in the end
so what shall I leave
behind?
does it suffice
if it's words?
does it suffice
if it's progeny?
what shall it be?
my sole purpose, singular,
for life quite goes on
and all that I was
may somehow transcend me
may somehow
go on
is that now a blessing
or rather, a curse
and irksome reminder
of what I can't be?
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