POEMS GROUP 22: MANAS

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS I:

ENIGMA

I can
if I want to
be enigmatic

it's really not that difficult
a metaphor here
an unmotivated break of
the line
there
and a head-
ing
misleadingly simplistic:

yet do I want to?

December 17th, 2009

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS II:

SUB/CONSCIOUS LOVE

sit I here
amidst my work
amidst all kinds of stuff to do
so many thoughts right now define
right quite who I am
in the conscious
very conscious
realm
I know
there is an other thought I want to be thinking
need to be thinking
I know, it is important
and it
concerns
you:
yet
you are
only part
of a picture:
safely stowed away
to be activated
once I need you
to be activated
once I can deal with my needing you
yet now
having inhibited my inner drives and innermost wishes
suddenly
there's just one thought
and all the others
are subservient:
there's just one purpose
just one call
just one thought:
it's you
my subconscious
not only doesn't lie
but it does quite shove me
into your direction:
waiting
anxiously
to be able to deliver
you
into my arms:
I guess,
I need you here
for my sanity
one's truest love
should never be
that far
away

January 7th / March 4th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS III:

DREADED WINTER

winter rightfully might be
the toughest thing for us to see

say we
in our comfortable homes
heated
against the cold
from outside

sometimes
priorities
look different
when you let your self be opened up
to the world
outside

bubbles
must burst

January 24th / March 4th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS IV:

DEPENDENCE

I do not like
the idea
of being dependent
on somebody else

maybe,
because I live in a world
where the cult of individuality
has replaced the common good

(this is not going to be a good poem, aesthetically speaking)
(that is, once you assume a poem to be about aesthetics)
(it may very well not be)

yet
are we talking about submission here?
(sometimes
maybe you should submit
to the greater truth
of the universe)
or merely about the recognition
that a single life
doesn't quite weigh much
in a universe
of universes:

maybe
it is not dependence
but interdependence
and simply just
another
word
for
love:

for why should I not
feel dependent
on my love:
if it is reciprocated?

in a world of loneliness
is not the greatest gift
to overcome
this?

maybe I can be both my own self
and part of a union
maybe, also,
it is only the other
which creates the own:
for, oddly, I feel
much more quite myself
in the presence
of somebody else:

what does this now say
about the individual?
quite on its own?

January 29th / March 4th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS V:

I LOST THE POEM

I lost the poem
wait, maybe
it's in here still
something about
loss
something lost
something lost by losing it all:
yea, sometimes you need to be wasted
to finally see:
those on the side of constant sobriety
are just waiting till their head's exploding
from all the under-accessed potential
lurking beneath
and wanting all out

February 8th / March 4th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS VI:

SOMETIMES

sometimes
I feel I need to just shut out
my brain

some things
are valued much better
once their loss is considered

oi,
at least
I don't want it to be permanent

February 8th / March 4th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS VII:

TEMPORARY HAPPINESS

maybe
it is merely a sign of "our times"
maybe
it has "always" been this way
yet still
it appears
that the one thing most thought
the one thing
most pursued, allegedly,
is oftentimes
just temporary?

March 4th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS VIII:

WHEN ALL THINGS FAIL

it's just a feeling
sometimes
that life's closing in
too hard
that all distance
is lost
when you need it
whilst other distances
become unbridgeable:

in the narrative of life
I feel
I should be able, much more
to simply just
be

how does that go again?

March 13th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS IX:

TIME IS THE FIRE

I know
I must go
there's no other way out
but does not that future
demand a restructuring
of the present
right now?
time, of course, tells
but how do we tell time?

March 13th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS X:

CONTRADICTION

what you wanna be
is a poet
always trying
to feel the world

what you don't wanna be
is a poet
always trying
to feel the world

maybe though
it all depends

January 29th / March 14th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XI:

HERE WE GO

here we go
into the land of still fulfillable dreams
to find out
find
whether these dreams are worth pursuing
'cause you're on the trajectory of life,
should you not
be
sure?

the worst-laid non-plans
may indeed turn out better
than the best-laid plans:
(what does "laid" mean, it seems to be a constant
in either
such
plan)

March 15th/16th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XII:

IN THE END

you're
all
alone

March 21st, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XIII:

SUFFER

this is not to say
suffering is good
(it ain't)
yet you better
get used to it
and accept
its inevitability:
otherwise,
you'll be in
for a rather harsh
awakening

and you need to make sense
where, on first glance, there'll be none
for we are sense-craving little creatures:
without it, what's left?

March 21st, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XIV:

ON SECOND THOUGHT

we may be alone in the end

should we not
nevertheless
hope?

March 21st, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XV:

POEMS WAITING

I have poems here
waiting for me
(poems waiting on the other line?)
words
that are depending on me
to be written
to be let out
of their imaginary cage
out of their imagination
into the wild
how shall they fare?

March 27th/29th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XVI:

THE COMMUNION OF THE LIVING

feeling
is mutual
a mutual experience
of feeling
all around:
for know I
when a cat is smiling at me
when a bird is unsure about my intentions
when a mouse is just scared of a cat
when a camel just doesn't care
when I see a female pigeon just don't giving a damn
'bout the male harassing her

if animals
can be an open book
in the community of the living
why must people
be so complicated?

April 2nd, 2009/March 29th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XVII:

THE COMMUNION OF THE DYING

see I (what do I want to see)
feel I (what do I want to feel)
(does wanting have anything to do with that?)
(does want have anything to do with that?)
(I want)
(what do I want)
(what do I lack)
sometimes I feel I'm lacking life
(maybe that's true)
(maybe, that's just expectation speaking)
maybe life is the sum of all expectations
(maybe, it's all about exhilarations)
maybe I live
definitely though, I'll die
in the end,
is it not
the greatest communicator
and uniter?
there was a beginning
there will be an end
but what
(dear god all-bleeping-maybe)
is in between
it all?

March 29th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XVIII:

MEMORY BANK

do not throw away my childhood
I still need it
to sustain me
for what else do we have:
the most tangible of memories
are the one true gift
to a fleeting existence:
I shall need to hold on
to my own mortal coil -
for without it -
what shall remain?

March 29th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS IXX:

PO(H)EMIA

should look I for riches
in a world with no meaning
or continue on the path
of public introspection?

or what do we really have
except our very own self?
shall I not face
the artist within?

March 29th, 2010

मनस् (MANAS) - ENTRENCHMENTS XX:

I.

drifting away
into nowhere
specific:

there is a need
that must be
satisfied

is there not
a better place
somewhere?

it must
be
true

can I
not
dream?

can we
not
imagine?

a better world
another world
a different world

but should we?
and could we?
and would we?

imagination is a funny thing:
provides it license for so many things
without ever having to accept responsibility

the most important thing about utopia
is not the homophonic eu-, as in good,
but the much more sinister ou, as in, not

II.

nowhere near you'll get, my dear
to this utopia of own your making
own your shaking
of the underworld
the netherworld
the lower places
of the mind
and soul:
the dark, intense, the wish-machine
the wish-maker
wish-taker
wish-faker:
dare we all
and not to better:

dare we just
to wish
that it could be true
that it could happen

and yet
in the thickest of "things"
somehow
we're thrown back
to all our widest worries
and related compromising:

for in order to build the perfect society
you will have to be subjecting everyone
under that ideal of perfection
ideally, by perfect a leader
a perfect leader commanding a perfect people
how perfect this, how masterfully quite envisioned:
dare I say, the master-race awaits its new führer?

maybe some utopian impulses should never be followed
as deniers of authority can be quite authoritarian about that denying

never question the revolutionist
never question those who speak truth to power
never question those who just need you to trust them, per their command

(I am not schizophrenic
yet
I might quite become one
should I choose
to follow
thee loons of the fruit of the tree of the darkest looming)

per tuo commando

never

III.

utopia
maybe needs to be
reenvisioned

I feel
art
is not the proper location

maybe academia?

deconstruction
maybe
should be the first test to be passed once entering the holy halls of the new Academy:
forsaken we all
unless we resist
the temptation, the hybris, of knowing all best
of knowing
where we only can conjecture:

does it make you crazy?
does it make you feel rejected?
does it make you feel invigorated?

see what you see
speak what you speak
make what you make
then take a break
and question
that

break down
your self
your sense of self:

in temporary dis-location
temporary sense-dis-mantling
is there not
in this absurdity of negative theology
a way, a path
to nevertheless see
that can be made visible
in the end?

which end?
should we wait?
should we end?
should we wait for our end?

only a rather half-assed prophecy would leave out such elements of self-negation
of sacrifice
and personal growth through immensest a loss

IV.

getting off the beaten part here
cannot see the track
the road
anymore

why searching?
do we really even know?
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

V.

five
finally
the classic conclusion
is just about to come
(or is it not?)
I ignore these unbelievers for now
and still continue to find
what I've been hoping for:
un altro mondo è possibile
un' altra vita è possibile -

really?
and why? and what for?

it seems
our hopes will be suitable to some
and they will be adapted to some different scheme
this utopian thought you're just thinking
maybe
it should be kept a secret
they're everywhere, possibly
don't let it be taken away
and don't set it free either
it's a gift
and a curse

VI.

tell me of utopia
I say, it sucks
never worked
never will
but also, most of all,
never should

we can still hope
we can still dream
but do not touch

the concreteness of your whish
will kill you
your spirit
your soul

nature, there you go
if you can find her
at least, she's honest

the wal- and the den
are still
necessary

go
find

and never
look back

otherwise,
you'll be
lost

March 24th/29th, 2010