POEMS GROUP 11: CONFESSIO

CONFESSION - VIEWS I:

BATTLEFIELDS

When all I see at the end of the road
Is shadows coming out,
Amongst all tears and the joy that I wrote,
That's what I'm crying out.

Amongst all
Darkness will fall
Fall from towers tall
Following ancient call
Meeting in a darkest wall -
All then together will fall,
Facing destruction all,
Hitting the black wall,
The glowing ball
Amongst all.

And all I see at the end of the road
Is darkness fighting light.
These fighting each other on our board,
Revealing startling might.

In it all
Nothing will fall
Not from towers tall
Following newest call,
Deconstructing every wall -
All then will rise, not fall,
Gaining salvation all,
Passing the old wall,
The shining ball
In it all.

For all I see at the end of the road
Is nothing we have seen,
And all of us carry heaviest load,
Since we have not yet been?

April 2th, 1999

CONFESSION - VIEWS II:

CONSTRUCTIONS

I.
I define myself,
I construct myself,
Assumptions are mine -
Assumptions are thine.

II.
You define my self,
You construct my self -
Assumptions are all -
Assumptions must fall.

III.
The touch of your hand,
Electrons that bend,
The sound of your voice,
The brain's very choice.

IV.
Reacting to life -
Will either we thrive
Or starve then to death -
Decided we have.

V.
A game last not least,
A beggar, a heist,
A thinker, a prick -
We are what we pick.

VI.
Is void what's behind?
Is empty our mind?
Am thinking not I?
Who am I, and why?

April 26th, 1999

CONFESSION - VIEWS III:

TRANSITIONS

I.
Gone all the times when all was calm,
Gone all the times without all harm,
Gone all the times when I just lived,
Gone all the times without a shift,
Gone all those days which are now gray,
Gone all those days which now astray,
Gone all those days which bear no fruit,
Gone all those days which sound is mute,
Gone hours all which prove not full,
Gone hours all which were just dull,
Gone hours all which gave no sight,
Gone hours all that bore no light,
Gone all those days which bore no word,
Gone all those days which did not hurt,
Gone all those days which I not knew,
Gone all those days which gave no clue,
Gone all the times I made no point,
Gone all the times which are disjoint,
Gone all the times which wasted time,
Gone all those times, they're worth no dime.

II.
Gone all the places I not met,
Gone all the places I forget,
Gone all the places far off heart,
Gone all the places hearts apart,
Gone all those roads I did not go,
Gone all those roads I did not show,
Gone all those roads I did not know,
Gone all those roads I will not go,
Gone houses which I still am strange,
Gone houses which are just a cage,
Gone houses which do not give birth,
Gone houses which defy the Earth,
Gone all those roads without a sign,
Gone all those roads which do not shine,
Gone all those roads which do not lead,
Gone all those roads which help no seed,
Gone all the places not yet seen,
Gone all the places not yet been,
Gone all the places I ignored,
Gone all those places not adored.

III.
Gone all the thoughts I did not think,
Gone all the thoughts which bore no ink,
Gone all the thoughts which led me wrong,
Gone all the thoughts which were not strong,
Gone all those words I did not write,
Gone all those words that gave me fright,
Gone all those words I dared not speak,
Gone all those words I did not seek,
Gone all the texts I did not make,
Gone all the texts that feel so fake,
Gone all the texts without no sense,
Gone all the texts which build a fence,
Gone all those words I sent to trash,
Gone all those words I made to ash,
Gone all those words I did not note,
Gone all those words which I not showed,
Gone all the thoughts which made not think,
Gone all the thoughts which made no link,
Gone all the thoughts which made no turn,
Gone all those thoughts and let them burn.

IV.
Afraid to tell the thoughts of mine?
Afraid to let my words just shine?
Afraid to make my texts appear?
Afraid to watch them just from here?
Afraid of places strange as all?
Afraid, from mountain-tops to fall?
Afraid to read the truth that hurts?
Afraid to make a glance that flirts?
Afraid to take a risk too great?
Afraid to move so I just wait?
Afraid to let my eyes just see?
Afraid to let myself just be?
Afraid to make a choice that's clear?
Afraid to face my darkest fear?
Afraid to die? What death is then?
Afraid to do what I just can?
Afraid I was too much, too much,
Afraid of many things as such,
Afraid, afraid, afraid, afraid!
But now I see: I can't just wait.

V.
What am I now supposed to do?
What if my "ifs" are growing too?
What places then I am to see?
What words will I arranging be?
What people am I just to meet?
What thoughts am I supposed to greet?
What worlds wait just out there for me?
What if I do not have the key?
What doors still locked do wait out there?
What if I do not like my share?
What time it is that still remains?
What are the losses, what the gains?
What is the time which is my last?
What if that comes too slow, too fast?
What if my hands are leaving me?
What if my dreams will never be?
What if the world outside is dream?
What if the world's not what it seem?
What if I stopped to ask those things,
What now, let's cut those binding strings!

VI.
And vanity now stays behind,
Now, vanity, so leave my mind!
Let's make this count, let's make it so,
Let's do it right, let's let it go!
Away those nasty little thoughts,
They count for nothing, count for naughts.
Transitions now are what is life,
They cut through all with sharpest knife,
Have no respect, no hind-sight here,
They do not care what we might fear -
So do not fear them, don't back down -
And don't show me that strangest frown!
Away the thoughts of if and when,
Away the words that don't remain,
Away what's empty, void and stark,
Away what's gray or simply dark -
Just give me light now, give me life!
And try some harmony, not strife!
Transitions come, transitions go,
The tides of life with them just flow.

April 2th, 1999