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Phil John Kneis:
MUTATIO - ILLUMINATIONS III:
RESURGENCE
Eichwalde, November 7th, 1998 - P#87
I.
Enraged I am
That not I can
Yeah see right through -
What just then flew
Into my mind,
Now hides from sight,
Cloaks dark itself,
Leaps from a shelf
Of rocks; once near,
Now far in fear -
It crashes the ground,
Cannot be found
Again by me -
Too clear I see
What not I want,
Not to confront,
To near not dare,
Too much the fare,
Too high the cliff,
The thoughts too stiff.
II.
Enraged I am
That all I can
Is watch all this,
Note an abyss
I cannot fight;
In all this plight,
My hands are bound,
My aim not found -
Is gone again,
All seems in vain,
All too far gone,
All that seemed won
Crashed down from rhyme
In just no time
To awful dust
Where all just must
See to itself -
No helpful elf
Would come to aid -
Should I evade?
III.
All that was gained,
All I sustained,
All that seemed right,
All truthful plight
Of times now past
Now will not last -
I laugh at them!
Where did they stem?
They seem so small,
Why did I call
For aid at times,
Where are the lines
I used to cross?
O won't I toss
It all away!
But what shalt stay,
What has to go?
When does it show,
When comes the light,
When ends the fight?
IV.
All that was lost
At all that cost,
All that was messed
And seemed so blessed,
All that I passed -
Why will that last?
What sorrows go
With us yeah so,
Go right along,
Still make us strong
And make us weak -
A tiny streak
Of light comes through -
A tiny clue,
A riddle's end?
A time worth spent?
Am stronger I -
And stronger why?
What do I know -
Where do I go?
V.
And why I go?
Why talk I so?
Why speak at all?
Why push the wall,
Why stop the wind,
Why judge from hind?
Am I enraged?
Or just engaged?
What cause I have?
Ain't I a slave?
Aren't slaves we all?
We all will fall -
We cannot stay,
Can make our way,
But in the end
Will freeze our hand,
Will cold our blood,
Will stop its flood,
Will stop the heart,
We'll have to part.
VI.
Am not enraged,
The war I waged
Turned to myself -
I see the shelf
Right now again,
It's not in vain,
I feel it now,
A ground to plough,
A word to say,
A game to play,
A book to write -
Just make it right.
The tasks come clear,
Gone now the fear,
The things I miss
I will not miss
Forever then -
What I now can
Is live once more -
And then, to soar.
April 4th, 1999
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