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  phase 6: zêtesis kai hairesis

POEMS GROUP 23: DHARMAH
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty

Category 4: Manifestations

Section Index


  1. Insanity
  2. Christian Country
  3. Moment of Truth
  4. Where Now Am I
  5. Perfect Happiness
  6. Looking at the World Now
  7. Life Before You
  8. Happiness Kills Poetry
  9. Tempus Vixit
  10. When I See You
  11. The Big Excape
  12. Syllogy XL: Sescengenti: Dis/Integration


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Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS I:
INSANITY
Corvallis, January 15th, 2012 - P#589


insanity's quite often underrated
in fact, some nicest things have seen the ink to paper
under the spell
of alleged insanity:

at least
in these in stances
insanity has been shown
to be the cure for total inanity

if, by any chance, insanity should win,
in the end,
know you should
that sometimes I do quite enjoy that state:
it helps me understand
the relativity
of reality



PJK
January 15th / 26th, 2012







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS II:
CHRISTIAN COUNTRY
Corvallis, January 23rd, 2012 - P#590






Jesus is working on a Sunday at a Staples in Oregon







PJK
January 25th, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS III:
MOMENT OF TRUTH
Corvallis, January 25th, 2012 - P#591


we measure truth in moments sometimes
to underline their singularity
their uniqueness on a world of smoke and mirrors
how I wish for things to be simple
and truthful
and kind

the biggest disappointment:
that the world is not as it could be
but as it is

and that dreams
don't make it so

and that all our doings
may just be bouts of inanity
insanity even
fighting windmills
like hurling insults at god
and at nature

do windmills listen?
does god really care?
or nature, the same?

so
in this
crucial
moment
what
do we choose?



PJK
January 25th / 27th, 2012







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS IV:
WHERE NOW AM I
Corvallis, February 5th, 2012 - P#592


where now am I
in this country far away
two souls in my chest?
no,
same soul, same chest,
different circumstances all
and the I
is torn
and in my head
all places become one



PJK
February 5th, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS V:
PERFECT HAPPINESS
Corvallis, February 9th, 2012 - P#593


perfect happiness
is lying next to you
regularly
is simply living with you
throughout our days
jointly
and happily

this must never cease



PJK
February 9th, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS VI:
LOOKING AT THE WORLD NOW
Corvallis, February 13th, 2012 - P#594


looking at the world now
everything gets brighter
everything beaming
with joyful ekstasis
how ecstatic a joy
a beginning a begetting a getting done an arriving on the scene a coming
a there
there
the prairies
the expectations all
hidden
somewhere
in full sight:
you walk high and not (yet) frail
proclaiming that you will do the strangest things
that in the end
looking back at the world now
everything has gotten brighter
everything is beaming
and streaming
and screaming
and screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaming
in-san-i-ty in-an-i-ty
broken up words
dissected
to their best knowledge
somehow,
knowledge now
is already
disturbing the light
making things
so much more difficult
and yes,
here it comes:
the demandment to sleep
how mundane
how in-the-world
instead of out of this world
a poetry embedded
instead of a poetry outgoing (not necessarily transcending)
and the banal
the embedded
the real life
stays behind
after all the hot shots have left
ah-
wait
it is still bright!



PJK
February 13th, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS VII:
LIFE BEFORE YOU
Portland, May 27th, 2012 - P#595


I had a life before you,
of course.
Yet now, this all seems
so distant
unreal
and somehow, irrelevant:
How can it be
that thirty years
can seem so empty
in the face of just a few:
And yet,
it cannot be said any differently:
it is through love
that we live
so much more
than anyhow else.



PJK
May 27th, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS VIII:
HAPPINESS KILLS POETRY
Corvallis, July 16th, 2012 - P#596


a love that's found
will let you live
a love that's lost
won't let you die
but kill you over and over again
in your heart and mind
the poet's paper
burns it then



PJK
July 16th, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS IX:
TEMPUS VIXIT
Corvallis, August 29th, 2012 - P#597


sometimes, it seems, we want so much
and time steals all of it
and mocks us so



PJK
August 29th, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS X:
WHEN I SEE YOU
Corvallis, October 4th, 2012 - P#598


when I see you
my eyes light up
I am enthralled
by the very thought of your presence
and your being there with me
makes me feel
like everything is good
and complete
and that all I need
is right here
with me
with you



PJK
October 4th, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS XI:
THE BIG ESCAPE
Corvallis, December 1st, 2012 - P#599


why cannot I
reach the sky
cannot I
simply fly
far away
go astray
live the day
come what may?

should
I
?



PJK
December 1st, 2012 / November 3rd, 2013







Phil John Kneis:
Dharmah - religion, life-code, way of good living, duty (DHARMAH) - MANIFESTATIONS XII:


SYLLOGY 40: SESCENGENTI: <strike>Dis</strike>/Integration



Eichwalde, Corvallis, November 15, 2005 - December 30, 2018 - P#600


PRELUDE



romance is dead, it is said
romance has been destroyed, it has been said
some of it, granted, can be quite pathogical
yet romance proper
how do you dare
dear cynic:

yes, love exists
I had despaired
I had cursed life and heaven and hell and more so

but love is real
and you need to find it
and you can find it:

Just as I have.

(I love you my dear; without you, I still see and imply you in everything I do)



PART ONE: THE PROMISE



1. BOWER BIRD IN DESPAIR

in the beginning
I was alone
I wasn't even a self
I wasn't even my self
I didn't know of the you
I didn't know of the possibility of you
I didn't know of the utter necessity of you
while you had already discovered me
: possibly a good thing: I might not have noticed you in my spiralspiralspiral of despair
yet I was alone
hoping
searching
building a web
an electronic nest
waiting
for someone
to see me
while I was
alone
you've heard of bower birds,
you get the picture

2. A MESSAGE RECEIVED

I had received
a curious message
from across the ocean
allegedly holding Atlantis
who had seen my nest:
and suddenly, everything had changed
very much so

3. COCOON

an empty cocoon
is not as warm
as one that is shared

sometimes,
you do not need the room but hope
doesn't always die
it can, indeed, succeed
it has so far
and so it shall

the cocoon
will be warmer
soon

4. BERLIN

when we walked through Berlin
you held onto my backpack
I found that was somewhat odd
but immensely cute
no one had ever done that
with me

5. FATE IN RETROSPECT

in retrospect
this all seems so strange
all so unreal
all so wondrous

you know,
I do not really believe in fate
or destiny
or whatnot

and yet,
sometimes,
I have the oddest feeling
that things have moved a certain way
and that it could not really have been
any different

or maybe just,
in retrospect,
I can simply not believe
that there could have been a life
where you and I
would not have met

if this is destiny,
if this limits my free will,
I very much embrace it
embrace you
and whatever has led us
whatever has let us
come together

6. LOVE IS THE PROMISE

love
is the promise to share
what is the most precious:
your life
with each other



PART TWO: THE VOYAGE



7. LIKE A TREE

somehow, this all seems foggy now
isn't it strange how our past selves sometimes doesn't quite relate
to our present:
and yet
it did lead us
to where we are now

somehow, I wish
we would have moved faster
our timing
in retrospect
could have been better

but maybe we needed to dance the dance that we did
in order to arrive at where we are now
time's arrow may be much less flexible
than we think

and love
like a tree
needs to grow
to continue to grow
so time
may be much more of a friend
and an ally
in that

8. DRIVEABOUT

during my driveabout,
I would be thinking about you
wondering something had happened

9. A PHONE CALL

I felt the urge to call you
I believe I did call
and felt very comforted
by the voice on the phone

10. SOUTH DAKOTA

somewhere in South Dakota
cell phone service ceased
somewhere around the Corn Palace

I always knew
but I learned especially then:
I cannot really handle being alone
very well

back then, it was tolerable
besides family and friends,
there was just me

now, it is different
and the sense of an absent presence
can sometimes be much worse than being alone, it seems:

back then, I was missing someone in principle
and now, I am missing someone concrete
and special

maybe I really am still
on my driveabout
in the cold

but the thought of you
can keep me
warm

11. VOCABULARY

I believe
it was you
who taught me the word
"dingleberry"

12. MEN

men are
clueless
most of the time maybe,
women can be too,
yet I have yet to witness that

13. SEEING YOU

I saw you sit there
waiting for me
I could not quite believe
I was there
in your company

I still
sometimes
cannot quite believe it

14. HAPPY AGAIN

I knew
I had met someone
very special
and did not want to let go
ever

I believe
I started to be happy
again
because of you

15. ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

you sent me an e-mail
with an air of assumed innocence
but I was not convinced

there was an air
of ulterior motive
contained within it
(I liked that)

it went:

"
Importance: High

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT

"

I saved that file
of course
for future reference

16. NOW

now,
everything was different:
I was seeing it all anew
because it was with you

our worlds had collided
and opened up
together
since then

17. ONLY THE DISTANCE

only the distance
is difficult
but such is life
and we've always been able
to overcome it

no doubt
has been able
to nest
neither regrets



PART THREE: THE TRANSFORMATION



18. WEIGHTED STATISTICS

I just read
that statistically
relationships do go through thick and thin,
or rather from thin to thick:
weight gain
as a consequence
of a shared life
of eating and convenience:
I guess, love, indeed,
leads through the stomach:
allegedly
all

ain't it strange
what kinds of statistics
can be derived
from life

19. FRAGMENTS OF INSOMNIA

I've been missing you
and my entire universe is crumbling
I am ambiening around
conversations with my room
I do not know what's real or not
well, I guess what used to be real, now looks weird, may be real still tomorrow
and the writing about it may remove its mystery
and I am sure another person's sitting next to me
a friend, I guess
making sure
I am not being a complete idiot
but my focus is on the you
clearly and fully
food helps in order to remind us that tactile senses need sensuous feedback
I just watered the flowers in the glass of sherry
now it looks as if a snake wants to emerge
looking down the emptying glass
I see schemes of forms changing, while people all around observing me
typing becomes difficult
I try to maintain coherence
(I know I am alone)
the room extends through the dark window into the outside
weird
a truest copy
completely virtual technique, but real nevertheless
just as my love
is relying on the virtue of the virtual to transmit me to her
I am
not a single man
but a collection
of various fragments
barely held together
but all agreeing on our battle cry:
calling for you:
because in this immensely disorderly work, me, myself and I, and all my imaginary friends,
that is the only constant:

first, I split my self in two
one self writes, the other not
now, I have my self split up much more
another person
over the ocean
has become so much of a key to me
that you actually are holding part of me
the part you'll activate once I am there
when I will be
returning home
finally
into the promised land

I, indeed, can only be what I am with someone else in conjunction
con-iug-atio
a joint submission
beyond the yoke of marriage
creates a phoenix from these ashes
soaring high
to hills of happiness
and spheres of achievement
and cataracts of kitsch?

well,

short story

shortened:

I love you
need you
want to be with you
and you love me (for the strangest reason, I'd assume)

this needs to suffice
to heal us both
and push us
to do the things that need doing
for this new, rejoined a constellation
to soon take place

20. JINGLE DRESS

you jingled
and I carried your Eagle feather
so you could dance
jingling
all the way
happily
at last

21. INTRA MUROS

after navigating
narrow streets
in the dark
intra muros
we sniffed our way
to a little bistro
in Saint-Malo:
and it was heavenly
and quiet:
a silent communion
of the worshippers
at the church of food

and we
would travel on
continuing
on our little adventure

22. TASHUNKA

driving through the Forests (!) in France
after having seen cows all so happy
unexpectedly
a sign
at the side of the road
"Tashunka"
uh?
well, we had to check
and arrived
at Le Montana
the European fantasy of the American Indian
appears to be
a self-regenerating resource
and it had everything
busts beads pictures books flags
and stuffed animals
(no stuffed Indians, just a statue)
yes, it is not just the Germans
who are crazy
Europe loves the Indians
we loved them so much
we came over and got rid of them
for their reality was mocking our fantasy
a continent, totally morally and politically corrupt, historically,
needs a fantasy
of complete innocence
and humanity
and a back door
you can find
where you follow the white rabbit
down in the hole
and emerge on the other side
back in the Garden of Paradise;
for this we need;
for this we have destroyed it here
at least your vision
gives us hope
to continue to believe
in the reality of
goodness

23. WILD STRAWBERRIES

and again
we sniffed out
the good food:
they even had wild strawberries
in Florence
(and a Cathedral)
(and more)

24. FROM SIENA TO ASSISI

I was sorry
truly sorry
to drag you away
from Siena:
but Assisi
was worth it,
don't you think?

25. THE ETERNAL ONE

when in Rome?
visit the parks
ride a wagon in the gardens
watch the pigeons
watch the cats watching you
eat Cannoli
see the churches
see the palaces
see the museums
and over all
see
that time can make both mortal and immortal
at once

26. MEMENTO MORI ET VIVERE

I was too far away
that time
to hold your hand
hold you
and carry you
even if you did not need it

this truest impotence
of not being able to be there with you

and yet
sometimes
life intercedes
sometimes
something else

there can be no real answer
to sickness
or death

except the answer
posed
by life itself:

the realization
that all life
is a being unto death
can invoke despair
and desperation:

and yet
memento mori
also reminds us to live:
even though it can be unbearable
at times



PART FOUR: A NEW BEGINNING



27. A NEW YEAR

I was able to join you
to greet the new year
I believe we went to Le Bistro
and had a gateau
amongst other delicious things

28. SOON

our hearts surely were given any opportunity
to grow fonder
through absence

now
it appears more certain
that I will be with you
soon:

the feeling is almost unreal
and the thought of the distance between us
dissolving
feels like salvation

somehow
even though I have to leave my home
I know
there will be a new one

waiting for me
and you
will be
in it

29. FRENCH CUISINE

the shortest distance
from Stuttgart to Berlin
leads through Haguenau

love, indeed,
is deeply connected
to what enters the stomach:

in France
they do know
how to eat

we
do
too

30. ACROSS THE SEAS

it is strange, somehow
that you can build a family
across an ocean

and sometimes,
in times of need,
it is good to know

that across the seas
someone cares
deeply

31. DISTANCE DESPAIR

I have written myself
into a corner
of despair:
too much loneliness
and death
and destruction:
I am in need
of something nice
and sweet
and you

I'm tired
of distance
of obstacles
standing in our way:

you're in my thoughts always
yet I am a compulsive communicator:
I groom by talking
(yet rarely pick nits)
(at least I don't eat them)

I
need
my companion

32. CATS

I am jealous
of the cats
sometimes:

simply to be
and always a way
to cuddle

yes, I do miss cuddling
it may not be very manly to admit
but I do so anyway

false pride
is simply
false

how I would like
to be able
to purr

I would do so
always
when I am with you

33. LIFE IS SHORT

we visited a town
named after a horse
named after the town of Coburg

we sniffed sea lions
snubbed at some sub-par pow wows
and ate ice cream at Florence, Oregon
and walked through Silver Falls Park
with someone now dearly departed

life is shorter
than you'd love it
to be:

this year too
would
pass

34. ALWAYS

I have you always
on my mind:
I am sorry if this bothers you
but you're just too cute
and just too perceptive
and just too interesting
and just too lovely
and just too geeky
and just too odd
and just too exciting
and just too adorable
and just too beautiful
and just too smart
and just too amazing
to be
ignored
and not to be bothered
by an inquisitive love



PART FIVE: A NEW WORLD



35. GOODBYES

au weia
my niece said
at the thought of me leaving
for you:
and some friends are complaining too:
but life is full of decisions
and sometimes you need to say goodbye
in order to be able to say hello:
and for the private life of us
to continue in closer vicinity
instead of having to rely
on the technological illusion of proximity
I want to be able
to hold you in my arms
and to be held in return

36. GROWING

I do not like
people splitting up
how could there be
unhappiness
when there was happiness before?
how could there be distance
when there could be love before?
how could there be coldness
when there was life a-blazing before?
I am always distraught
hearing such news:
and I promise
I will always work to prevent
my love for you to diminish:
it has always grown, it must continue to grow:
and however hard times may be
however far we have to be from each other
hearing your voice
seeing your face
makes me happy
beyond belief

I know I can be difficult at times
but never does this mean
my love for you has lessened:
and you need to tell me
what I need to be doing for you
to be happy
and content:

for as happy you make me
I want to make happier still

37. DEADLINES

sometimes, I am my worst enemy
sometimes, I surprise myself thoroughly
one thing
keeps me focused:
some one
helps me stay on track:
I am doing this for you now
yes, it will help me later
but I am doing this for you now
so that I can come over
and you can hold me in my arms
and tell me it will be ok
I am frightened
and distraught
and distracted
but the flight is set
the paper must be done
and I feel like I am on a predetermined route now
with just a paper drop to be made
I am heading
to you
with love

38. WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS

we went to see
so many places
many things
all over quite:

the past
is a reservoir
that doesn't quite
dry up

39. DARKNESS AND LIGHT

when you're alone
there's wisdom in cynicism
substance in despair
and darkness stronger than light

when you're not alone
cynicism feels empty
despair just temporary
and darkness is irrelevant

40. IN DREAMS

it's one thing quite
to be together
and have a life
and see and touch each other

but you're also in my dreams
a constant presence
a constant reminder
a constant comfort
of a partnership
in waking and sleeping

together
for this moment in time that's our life
we can dream
of love lasting
beyond
what we know



POSTLUDE



there are still
so many things
I want us to see
so many things
I want us to do
so many things
I want us to know
together



PJK
November 15, 2005 - December 30, 2018





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