POEMS GROUP 23: DHARMAH

Series 1: Realizations



  1. Immobile Mobility
  2. Ethics of Loss
  3. Tumbleweed
  4. Might
  5. The Slowness of Food
  6. Gulls and Pigeons
  7. Poodle on the Beach
  8. Fractal World
  9. Alone
  10. Reimagining
  11. Response
  12. Valley
  13. Love, Now
  14. The Rhinoceros in the Garden
  15. Home, Interrupted
  16. Vulnerable All
  17. Pain, Great Maker
  18. Who Are Lewis And Clark and Why
    Are Their Fingers Pointing Left
  19. Syllogy XXXVIII: Quingenti: Aphasia



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Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS I:

IMMOBILE MOBILITY
Corvallis, OR, March 30th/April 9th, 2010 - P#482


why is it
that the only thing that doesn't fly on an aeroplane
is time?

maybe, it is a testament
to the unnaturalness
of such a movement

maybe, it is a sign
of us being spoiled
by technology:

I know I am moving
I know where I'm going
I know that I want to

yet I want the effort
be minimal
negligible, almost; no price paid at all

why is it
that the only thing that doesn't fly on an aeroplane
is the mind?




May 30th / April 9th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS II:

ETHICS OF LOSS
Corvallis, OR, April 5th/9th, 2010 - P#483


should not life
be going on
at all times
like in the best of times?
at all times
at the fullest potential
at the fullest degree:
a utopia of utter perfection
(an exclusion of all that is not)

see we thus life
as a promise of all that can be

all that is good
extended
all that we wish for
fulfilled
all that we're dreading
avoided

ignore we not thusly
that life is a continuum
a trajectory
towards a place
of ending
of loss:

only metaphors
are immortal




May 30th / April 9th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS III:

TUMBLEWEED
Corvallis, OR, April 11th, 2010 - P#484


alive now
in death
or moving, at least

once, in youth, blooming
fresh
and green
and yellow:
and purple:

now,
truly,
a sage




April 11th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS IV:

MIGHT
Newport, OR, April 11th, 2010 - P#485


now that we
know all that
is will we
find us now
what it means
or shall not
see we then
it's all that
it might be




April 11th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS V:

THE SLOWNESS OF FOOD
Newport, OR, April 11th, 2010 - P#486


take your time:
whenever
you hear a waitress or cook
invite you in
thusly:
you may be on
to something
real




April 11th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS VI:

GULLS AND PIGEONS
Newport, OR, April 11th, 2010 - P#487


gulls
live on the edge
of humanity:
pigeons though
have seen it all
so when I saw both a pigeon and a giant gull
feeding
on the beach
on crumbs thrown by humans
(easy pickings, these suckers)
the gull looked demanding
the beak imposing:
the pigeon though
wouldn't have it:
streetwise
beats ostentatious
and versatile
beats specialist:
such comical cosmopolitans




April 11th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS VII:

POODLE ON THE BEACH
Newport, OR, April 11th, 2010 - P#488


verily, I am a cat-man
I have learned to appreciate my inner felinity
patience
observance
stoicism
and utter indulgence
in pleasure
and sleep

yet that poodle
on the beach
looked just too happy to ignore
the necessity of outrageous playfulness

a playing cat is out on maneuvers
and priming the claws for the kill
that doggie though
had embraced the inner puppy
and had preserved
a levity
that may come harder
more and more




April 11th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS VIII:

FRACTAL WORLD
Corvallis, OR, April 19th, 2010 - P#489


your body can be
only in one place
at the same time

your soul,
whatever that is,
may be in several

sometimes I feel,
continents can overlap,
different places become one

I can turn a corner
and arrive
at the other site

an Ikea in Portland, Oregon
may appear self-similar
to one in Waltersdorf, Germany

is the world a fractal,
imitating itself
to no end?

am I myself a fractal?
nunc, fractus sum:
broken am I

at the outskirts of theory
in the nitty gritty
how do I perceive my self to be?

I split my self in two
once again
now, only physically

I wonder,
does a constant change of place
leave not confusion behind?




April 19th/20th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS IX:

ALONE
Corvallis, OR, April 19th, 2010 - P#490


I have written
so many poems
490 till this very moment
I was checking the projected name
of this one
because it has happened
quite frequently so
that I had stumbled upon the very same wording
much earlier
again

I have been alone
so many a time
I have felt alone
even more often

yet the search for "alone"
tells me, bluntly oh so,
"no matches found"
negative, substantive, participle
no adornment necessary
and nothing, verbally, in flux:
the picture of happiness?
hardly
the picture of denial,
for sure

being
at the place
where your partner would be
yet isn't:
now, being, all alone
means, really alone
am I the inheritor of this here now place,
even just temporarily?
this here place
carries the mark
of its possessor:
with that one not home,
how
can I
be

here:

maybe
it is a testament
to modern freedom
that makes all this possible

maybe I have no reason to be confused
startled
discombobulated
I've fallen victim
to an internalized thesaurus:
yet all this does
is restating the problem
over
and over
and over again:

a home
needs an owner
without, it's just waiting for Godot
what am I? Higgins, waiting for Robin Masters?
yet another inane reference that will be ignored by the cult of d'uh?

I sincerely believe




April 19th/20th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS X:

REIMAGINING
Corvallis, OR, April 19th, 2010 - P#491


who
am I
now
here?




April 19th/20th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XI:

RESPONSE
Corvallis, OR, April 19th, 2010 - P#492


life asks us
there can only be one kind of response:
a decision




April 19th/20th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XII:

VALLEY
Corvallis, OR, April 19th, 2010 - P#493


in the valley of darkness
I feel, God is much too weird a concept
to locate one's comfort in
another person
shall be much better a source
of salvation:
yet mostly,
I shall find it in myself
to fasten the boots
and begin the ascent:
valleys
can be traversed




April 19th/20th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XIII:

LOVE, NOW
Corvallis, OR, April 19th, 2010 - P#494


love is that
which makes you feel human
without limits
for all




April 19th/20th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XIV:

THE RHINOCEROS IN THE GARDEN
Corvallis, OR, April 26th, 2010 - P#495


I dreamt
there was a
rhinoceros in the garden
a young one
every single morning making a
scene
because he could not see
the sunrise:
too much
civilization
surrounding us




April 26th, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XV:

HOME, INTERRUPTED
Eichwalde, May 6th/11th, 2010 - P#496


I am home
but my home doesn't feel like my home
any more
I belong
someplace
different
with somebody else
now

how
about
that




May 11th/23rd, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XVI:

VULNERABLE ALL
Eichwalde, May 12th, 2010 - P#497


maybe I am too reluctant
to share my feelings:
believing:
everybody else would have succumbed
to the ideology of strength:
and yet:
people are people
people have problems
(mostly with people)
people, somehow, are similar

may pain is not the only one

even though I may not be allowed to share
each and every single thing
it is calming to know
that at least herein,
in vulnerability,
I may not
be
alone

how
about
that




May 12th/23rd, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XVII:

PAIN, GREAT MAKER
Eichwalde, May 12th, 2010 - P#498


happiness is nice
I like happiness
and yet,
it makes for bad poetry

do I want to be happy?
do I want to be a poet?

here's the thing.

the two, kinda, incompatible at times.

the unhappy poet is happy
the unhappy man isn't so quite
maybe, as long as I can be a poet
I can carve out a piece of happiness
from all this despair

hail, I think, then Pain, the great maker
Melpomene, I think, is good for tragedy
Erato, for love
what else do you need?

I split my self in two
a long time ago:

let now one side be happily unhappy

how
about
that




May 12th/23rd, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XVIII:

WHO ARE LEWIS AND CLARK AND WHY
ARE THEIR FINGERS POINTING LEFT
Hood River/Eichwalde, April 28th/May 12th, 2010 - P#499


driving
on I-84
alongside the newly-made Columbian lake
rushing calmly over what's left of
Celilo Falls
surely confusing some salmon
those, at least, who've succeeded in coming up that far
passing we now
that fishing village
the one remaining
I wonder
here: what is an Indian?
sticking next to a sunken waterfall in order to make a point?
here: what is an Indian?
leading explorers all over Indian land soon for the taking
I wonder
Celilo Falls has lasted for centuries, millennia
how old is The Dalles Dam? John Day? You name it?

we live
insects like
with a lifespan of ridiculousness
believing
that it be progress
destroying the old
in an instant:
some day, the old may smile back:
saying:
these persistent Indians hanging out in Celilo's historical shadow
were not that wrong:
the only constancy is change
and whatever is older
will have had
quite a head start

(is this a daydream? or a nightdream? or a trance-induced nil-willy thing?)

calma te
life goes on
panta rhei
all is in flux
has always been
remember: Ozimandias
dearest Shelley, almost fiendishly so, him citing;
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair"
we don't despair for not much is left: grandiosity fails
and everything ends in whimpering dust

see, hush now, gather around, I cannot be certain, and yet I have heard
that empires fall
that being a king is not at all a marvelous thing:
once it means something, you're quite endangered
once it doesn't, you're just an ordinary bloke ---
just like this Ozzy Mandy Ass now
could be our fate
a bit
more clear?

mortale tantum
mors stupendit et natura
dicit :
memento mori

it will be the death of those who claim ignorant imperial victory
those who have been able to wait things out
may very well
be wise
beyond
their years

where do Lewis and Clark point?
wherever Sacajawea has been telling them to look

since then,
some have acted
and others just waited

how
about
that




May 11th/23rd, 2010









Phil John Kneis:

SYLLOGY XXXVIII:

धर्मः (DHARMAH) - REALIZATIONS XIX:





Eichwalde, January 18-May 23rd, 2010 - P#500





(i)     (let's call it a "beginning")



lost in reason
lost in thought
lost in past
and past endeavors
past envisionings
of late:
fate
I believe
to be a thing quite in-sane
and yet:
here I am
fatum: what is said
what's sad
is

lost in reason
lost in thought
lost in all that came before
and that came after
all came after
after
what?

some moments may be seen
as defining
a being

being
Sartreness
Heideggerness
Inverness?
"there's a hole in the world"
says the vampire
Spike
whose world
does not
have a hole
carved out of the whole
out of the entirety
out of the entire eternity
of human suffering existence pleasure ignorance endurance pain whatever life
all:
madness
is quite a good thing
sometimes
actually:
insanity, actually
may make you sane with respect to the rest:
maybe
things have to be a bit askew
viewed estranged
in order
to be seen
anew
or for the very first time:
the virginity of knowing it all
will be exposed as utter hypocrisy:
who can see the face of g-d
and tells a tale
shall be turned into a pillar of salt:
their lot will be cast
and their arrogance be known:

god
is no creature
no father
no cause
no creator:
yet a concept
of the wholeness of it all
and the embrace
of a universe
tricking us
into believing:
that humans could be better than
a raven
a coyote
a fox
a Shiva-ing concept
of return everlasting of an ongoing,
let's call it,
de-con-struction

the deconstructing mind
is a specific kind
of human:
or not








(ii)     (let's call it "thinking")



thinking
can sometimes be
overrated,
utterly

speaking
sometimes
betrays a confusion
between speaking and feeling

maybe
thinking should be
redefined as something much more chaotic
than otherwisedly assumed








(iii)     (maybe, "belonging")



do we know
where we are
where we need to be
where we want to be
where we want to see
what we want to see
what we see to want:

It can, it appears, be rather clearly deduced from the behavior of self-designated species Homo Sapiens Sapiens (from here on only referred to H.S.S.) that desire indeed to want what is seen may in deed be rather idiosyncratic: rumors still persist that this kind of ideological impregnation may not yet have affected all cultures, it is the observation of this xeno-anthropologist that such cultures that have remained, or are said to remain, immune to such a lure of consumerism, may be in varying degrees of denial, although, mostly about their cultural change - an other world, according to advanced resources, may indeed be possible

the galactic high command
should maybe
rething
their position
and also
rethink:

after the rethinging
whatever is reified
may need to be rethought:

there is
indeed
valor
in stupid individuality
(my supervisor says: humans should not be underestimated
at least not that much:
they are not that central
to the story
they simply believe that they are)

now how about that








(iv)     (intermission originally, now making no sense at all)



let it go now
simmer
sit
in our minds
and create
havoc:

for these
memes
will indeed be
viruses
of the mind
populating possibilities
if they can
you will need to feed them back
into the meme-machine
maybe

MAYBE NOW THIS WOULD BE A SPLENDID MOMENT TO TAKE A BREAK
AND CATCH SOME SLEEP
I HAVE HEARD
THAT SLEEP IS ACTUALLY
IN SHORT SUPPY
SOMETIMES
ALAS, THE CATCHING

I AM PRETTY SURE
I CAUGHT MY SLEEP NEAR MY BEAD
I WILL CHECK NOW
HOW RELIABLY
THAT HAPPENED

SO: ideally, the poem will be off, temporarily, 05/28/2010 around 04:28

resuming, 05/17/2010 around 02:45








(v)     (chalcedon)



there are indeed
two natures in one
we are both mortal
and divine

maybe even,
what's supposed to be lasting,
needs to be able
to die?








(vi)     (a stranger in an egotopian place)



the island
is quite an unnatural place:
cut off
from the imagination
of the mainstay
of humanity

yet sometimes,
strangers will make it
transcend space and time
observe
like only a stranger can:
yet beware:
whoever doesn't belong
may not feel invested

there is a path to Atlantis in our minds
just follow the narrow road by the place that carries the world
by its roof
and delve into the abyss of insanity
transversing the whirlwind triangle of times past
and always
heed the call to power:

just as Plato the fascist supreme would have wanted it
in his drunken affairs with authority
yes, you'd want to be chosen
yes, you'd want your lot to be cast
amongst the highest ones:
you'd want everything to start anew
and wash away all the sins of the past and the pain:
and all the glories, the love, and all joy?
maybe, you'd feel the price would be right
Plato being such a smarty-pants, after all

yes, and no

utopia is quite a strange place
after all

who gives a shit about democracy
nowadays
when we could be happily celebrate in a I-topia
of a making our own?








(vii)     (inside, maybe)



lately, I have
become
suspicious
of my mind:

are there memes in it?
little things
evolving
and waiting
to get out?
that I may speak them, write them, unleash them
let them be emancipated
and take flight
all their own?

maybe I shouldn't
maybe something in me now says I shouldn't
and what is this "I" anyway?
"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you?"
thank you, Walt;
that doesn't get us anywhere anymore nowadays
we're in the I-World now
the fake-bookers all linked in, tweatering all aloud around abounding so
in new a world
an ego-world
a global Aphasia of strangest occurrence:
"my story" needs to be told,
they will say,
"my narrative defines me," they claim
who may not even know what a narrative or a definition would be
"I'm interdisciplinary now,"
well, strike the -ter-, for there is no discipline left:
the disciples have learned
that there needs nothing to be learned
if learning
is subject
to the narcissistic cute little bubble (pink? light blue? mauve? eggshell? apple? worm?)
they'd like to be floating in

inside, maybe,
the insidiousness of individualism
may feel all warm and fuzzy now:
where you want celebrate the I
you will not need the us
and you
will all be individuals
just as prophesied by
Brian








(viii)     (anymore)



can we even
speak
anymore
saying words
that indeed mean
somethings
saying things
that indeed carry some
weight in their
urgency:

sometimes
I am quite distraught
about the state of affairs we are
in:
this
here
is supposed to be
how it ought to be?

call me sentimental,
please:
but I do feel
I do sense
a loss:

something
is missing
that should but be here:

(the reason I do not write in a more refined,
enigmatic way,
is this:
I want to be understood
I would like to be more artistic:
but I value communication
over artifice
and (post-)structuralist play)

is there a there there?

you bet your sweet cuddly behind that there is:

it is called
life

is it?








(ix)     (unfinished)



I'm not finished yet

there's so much more I need to do

so much more
that needs to be expressed impressed repressed depressed

there is nothing I can do

nothing I feel I can do


but there's something I know that I do
I may not feel it quite yet
maybe feeling for something very abstract is too difficult


it will be unfinished, I fear

can something be unfinished once you get to a point
where it could be understood as deliberate?








(x)     (the words)



the words
are haunting me
at every step
in every position:
I feel

there is no escape:

maybe, in a self-medicated
deliberate
aphasia
can we see whether there still is
some sense
left:

.

.

.

and then, however, I look outside
the Woods the Desert the Sea the Stars
and all these other places:

they seem to be doing just fine without us

how

about

that

now




May 23rd, 2010