POEMS GROUP 20: ATMAN

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS I:

LYRICAL I

they say I'm not quite real a voice
just 'cause I live in a poem
I'm an I
that's called lyrical
merely
well,
I'm better than you
see
I know I'm a poem
but do you know:
who are you?
what do you want?
at least I ('m assumed to) know my limits here!
just within
the confines of the text
oh, baby,
don't you see
I still can misbehave!
I'm doing things with words
I'm a mind-fucker
that's what I am
I'm getting physical with the psyche
I'm getting neurons to fire! to move!
don't say it's just a text
it's a recipe for disaster!
the fundamentalists know:
I can be evil
if seen in the sense they quite mean:
I am quite mean
towards their institutions
towards their inner hopes and wishes
I'm a bad boy
(or girl, whatever you like)
I could even be a cat, my dearest!
fear the mighty claw of the cat domestic!
what a misnomer! you should never believe
a cat could be domesticized
but I'm straying away here
't may be I'm a stray cat
a smelly cat
you look at me
and I'm so pretty
you come near and want to pet me
want approach me
and now that you're near
I stink! a smell
penetrating your every pore
making your nerves go AWOL
or DOA even
I move neurons
again I tear at nerves
you tell me, I stink?
take your dirty little thoughts now off me!
I'm not a toy
I'm not to be cuddled
not to be embraced, dear god!
I'm a poem, darn it, imbecile!
you wanna chase me! encase me
you want
but you won't
cos I am quite
a universe
in my self
the drop is the ocean
so see you not
hear you not
know you not
what I've been telling all along?
for I can be good
as well
telling the truth
in all my rudeness
invading your utmost splendid isolation
(you'd have to be isolated
come on now
who would read poems if had they a life
honestly)
'tis almost as bad as being the poor schmuck writing them...
maybe sitting in a coffee-shop now
a Starbuck
too timid to do it like Ahab and go get the whale
the poet only travels along
in need of telling the tale
later on
(or wasn't it Ishmael? or Isaac?)
experience is for suckers
phor photographers maybe
greedy little bastards trying to own the soul of the world
through primitive snap-shots!
ha!
I say to you
well, I say nothing cause I just ignore you
I'm literature
I'm beyond your understanding
go away!
get a decent paper cut
that's the only literature worth showing
but no, all those darn "experiencers"
all in all earnest
have to go out
fight in wars
fight with the bulls
have it their way
see, I'll have it mine
and you're not invited
I'll retreat into my text
my 600 words
which all are just pointers to all quite in language!
and to not be so alone
I'll quick include some other ones
bereshit aasa der logos et el slovo fut allah
blah blah blah blah barra barra
(barbarians invited all!)
mmph grmpph ta ta humpty dumpty
yada yada yada yada!
that should suffice
for the beginning
maybe I'll return
write a new one
a sequel to the text
but just for now
I'll leave you alone
ponder
on the I and the author
the text and the context
and all these neat platitudes
that all are in vain
now, leave me alone,
go away now,
AWAY!

October 20th / 23rd, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS II:

SPEED

I watched someone on the train today
she was packing her things
taking out
a protective cover, a folder
slowly
painfully slowly
opening the folder's top
opening the folder's bottom
opening the folder's side
placing a sheet in it
placing a second sheet in it
closing the folder's side
closing the folder's bottom
closing the folder's top
putting it away
zipping the bag (she must have unzipped it earlier)
slowly
thinking
unzipping it
slowly
taking out a book
slowly
leaving the bag open (unzipped)
opening the book
taking the bookmark
putting it somewhere else
inside the book
starting to read
slowly
(I presume, though maybe she'd be a quick reader)
boy,
how different people's speed can be!

October 20th/31st, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS III:

A SMILE SO FORCED

I've seen you smile so oftentimes
and yet, your eyes seemed unaffected
there's a muscle, you know,
that only moves when you truly smile
you cannot force it
you'll be recognized wearing a smile so forced:
so why do you do it
and what's missing
for you to smile truthfully?

October 25th/31st, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS IV:

DE/ONTOLOGY

there's some things you know

you know
you've been born
you know
you're going to die

well, do you?

I tell you, I knew
but still, for the greatest part of my life,
I grew up
being told
there's life after death
(whatever that means)
but see
even if you might believe
you still
don't know
maybe you want to believe
precisely because you don't know:
or maybe you want to believe
precisely because you do know:
the end is the end

believe in resurrection you?
have seen you ghosts?
have spoken they to you?
they haven't
and we very much know, those who claim to speak with ghosts
are liars all
or rather distorted
so even if there'd be life after this
you still couldn't continue
living
the life you built

believe in reincarnation you?
that you'd return, remembering, what you've been?
become a bear, a bird, a slug,
experience
what life they have?
sometimes I wonder
is it out of envy we wanna be a bird?
out of a sense of perverted justice
we wanna be able to return as a slug
to grant this opportunity to others, mainly
let Hitler be a cockroach
but maybe an otherwise innocent cockroach would return as a human?
but really,
do you remember a previous self?
I do not quite think so
and neither do you

that leaves the option for us to return to the stardust
we came from
reassembled then into other kinds of life
or matter:
but really
do you care for the sake of your proteins
or of your soul?

we cannot tolerate an ending
we need the afterlife
as meme

so all that we do know
is quite our mortality
all other points
though valid, perhaps, for the sake of the "soul"
just point to nothing
aim to fill
the emptiness with life:

so, just that you know,
I've arrived
quite recently
at a certain dilemma:
quite banal, for sure:
I won't be here for ever
and when I'm gone
I wouldn't even be able to care

so, should we care now?
and can we quite
though knowing, it won't be for us?
cos tell me, my dear:
there must have been a reason
to the invention of God
to the belief in a greater good:
to our programming
to at least, if we care about nothing,
our genes still care about themselves
(for when it all breaks down, there still is la familia)

the "noble" lie:
so here we go again?
is there not another way?
for I'm not quite ready
to accept a lie as truth
merely to make ends meet

but maybe it's just
one step at a time
and if we don't make it
nobody comes out alive, anyway

so here's the thing about Thomas Hobbes:
we all may hate him to be true
but still, that doesn't change the fact
that in the greater scheme of things,
it's not about what we want
it's about what we are
and what we aren't

or is it
'bout what could be
somewhere
over the rainbow?

October 25th/31st, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS V:

CROWS CIRCLING POTSDAMER PLATZ

find me an augur
tell me
what does it mean?
means it anything at all?
the scavengers
circling their former paradise?

October 27th/31st, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS VI:

CULTURAL IMPERIALISM

damn those damn imperialists
it's all their fault
that I'm eating Hamburgers in Berlin
that I'm drinking coffee from Seattle
damn these Star*uckers in the first place
creating coffee of their own
I would, otherwise, be drinking German coffee
or did the Italians invent it
like they invented the tomato?
why must I eat pizza
or sushi
or Döner
yea,
these Turks have even more power over Berlin than the Italians
the Americans
the Greeks
these Thai-people
those with the raw fishes
these with the strange dishes
those with the bowel enticement
all over again
I could be happily eating my Sauerkraut and rye bread!
recently I read
a sign
Germans! buy German bananas!
and gladly, it loses nothing in translation
oh, damn me,
writing in a foreign language
damn these outsiders
forcing another perspective on us!
who we don't understand
the irony of the own:
and all its absurdity
tell me, please
whatever happened to the Weltbürgertum?

October 27th/31st, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS VII:

PERFECTION

there's no perfection
if not lies it in the sum
of perfect imperfections
assembled

November 7th/13th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS VIII:

THE CURSE

the past as a curse
the past as a guidance
how I want you
not to suffer
for what I had to go through
how I want you
to be another person than that from the past
and not be held in suspicion
because of past experience
how I want you to be you
how I want me to be me
no afterthoughts
and none in hindsight
and put the past
where it belongs
and let the present
speak
for herself

November 9th/13th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS IX:

POETRY

doing things with words
drunken things
stupid things
delving in the drunk reality of life
drunk with life
with the beer of life
the wine of the gods tearing us apart
the insanity
and the violation
that language is made of
mad just in essence
poiesis
a making
a creation
an original
how conceited quite an act this is! we think we know
we think we can say
and all the time
we're still drunk
the prophets are wrong
Dionysos right
oh, how I want to ridicule those one-sided
straight-minded
deniers of pleasure
deniers of joy
beware:
those false prophets of self-professing boringness
(I wouldn't have thought this one t' be a word!)
these bores with their beards and their piety
these mores with their fears and sobriety
do give me songs
do give me rants
do give me
the utter range of utterest insanity!
inane's just to try to be serious, respected
art
does not deserve respect
art
does not deserve the silentest nodding
art
it's art when you're disturbed in your pleasantries
it's art when you're quite ripped out of your place
it's art when no one can tell you what you should think
and poetry
boy
I don't know
I'm drunk
it's just life

November 9th/13th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS X:

FREE AT LAST

the moment's gone
it's lasted too long
I know now where I belong
love doesn't hurt
that's the only definition making any kind of sense
I'm seeing that now
I realize
the trap I've been in
that feeling is gone
a want without wanting
a have without having
that's what it's got to be
I'm free at last
I'm free at last

November 11th/13th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XI:

DEPRESSIONS

I saw a woman today
sitting at a mall
at her bookstand
prepared to sign her book
people moving round and round
passing her by
her book was about depressions
so silently she sat
quietly
depressed, probably
hell means indifference

November 12th/13th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XII:

CHILD'S PLAY

riding on the train
adults sitting quietly
politely, if sober
reading
musicking
lounging
dreaming
into the lethargy
giggles a child
enjoying the ride
fascinated
by the things passing by
and the faces around
we smile

November 12th/13th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XIII:

NOVEMBER

everyone always complains
blaming the weather
the darkness
the grays
the raining
the cold
claiming, 't would be so sad a month
Im traurigen Monat November war's
November ain't sad
this isn't tristesse
this is reality
no sunny colors shining in nature
nor neither snow covering all
what does it mean?
it's up to us now
to shine
to flamboy
finally, with all distractions gone away
in the ending of nature
the beginning of man

November 12th/13th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XIV:

PRACTICAL USE

something you cannot make practical use of
whoever came up with that nonsense
is not the mind
an organ of practice
is not the heart
an organ of action?
is not the "soul"
this gut-wrenching meme
in constant need of practicing itself?
practical use
I see no reason in not seeing it in words
it's not just acts
and not just contemplation, prayer
both together run their course

November 12th/13th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XV:

MY BEARDED SELF

my bearded self looks different
as if from an alternate universe, almost
I must admit
I always preferred Spock with a beard
and once I look into the mirror
it's still me
and yet it isn't
fascinating,
I could say

November 20th / December 14th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XVI:

PHONE FREE

left my cell at home
by accident
a queasy feeling now
on the train
I can't go back
what if I need to make contact?
what if contact's made t'wards me?
I could vanish now
and I have navigate by the city
all of a sudden
I feel disentangled
unrestricted
strangely free

November 12th / December 14th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XVII:

FANCY-FREE

freedom's a strange thing
you know you want it
know you need it
once you have it
something's missing
something's gone
something making it wanted
there's freedom from
and freedom to
but still,
it's quite hard
having to define
your self
alone

December 13th/14th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XVIII:

FANTASY

sometimes
there just ain't no practical use in reality
just nothing to be gained
from the harsh realm of life
may we not turn to the fantastic then
to the appearance
of appearances more detached from what's known?
if we escape
in order to make sense
would this be escapist a move
or rather not
a redefinition

of the real
inside what's not?
is not fantasy
an extended phenotype of reality?

December 13th/14th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XIX:

THEORY

there are times
I prefer art
over theory

the intentional distortion
and ambiguity
over the clear-cutting knife of the mind

the unwavering attempt
of showing attempt
over the illusion of proficiency

the notion of playfulness
of not needing to make sense
all the time

but when I want theory
when I feel need for it
let it make sense, and practical use

December 13th/14th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XX:

FREEDOM FROM WANT

how could we not want
to want?
of course, want means a lack
something that's missing
that needs be fulfilled
but still
not lacking anything
nothing at all?
what would that do?
would that not empty
the future unseen?

December 14th/15th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XXI:

COLD CITY

does not the city
reveal its true face
in the cold of winter
the stillness
the wait
(the wait for things to come)
(the wait for the cycle to begin all anew)

people encroached
tend to detach

December 14th/15th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XXII:

MIRROR

in a city of glass
everything's reflected
every window becomes a reflecting pool
a pond
of water not but silica
a mural of glass
a layering of buildings and lifeforms
like a puppet show
on the wall
tell me, mirror
who is the truest
of you all?
is there a mirror
creates not an image
but a copy
alive?

December 14th/15th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XXIII:

SERENADE

how I want my words be serenades
be directed at someone
accepted by someone
what is an address
without an addressee
what are words
without someone to listen

December 14th/15th, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XXIV:

VOCATION

sometimes
the question precedes the answer
asking for a response to make sense

sometimes
the answer precedes the question
asking for the sense to be a response

sometimes
you aspire
seeking the future to make sense of the present

sometimes
you aspire
preserving the present for the future at hand

some things
you seek

some things
you know

some things
need doing

some things
are done already

some things
you'll be

some things
you already are

December 18th/31st, 2004

आत्मन् (ATMAN) - PROSPECTS XXV:

EXPOSITION:

INTRODUCTION

Nr. 1. SCÈNE. MELANCHOLIA
Nr. 2. VALSE JOYEUSE
Nr. 3. SCÈNE. MEMETIC FRENZY
Nr. 4. SCÈNE. INSOMNIA
Nr. 5. SCÈNE. PLEA
Nr. 6. SCÈNE. REMINDER
Nr. 7. MARCHE. HEARTBEAT
Nr. 8. SCÈNE. NELLA CITTÀ
Nr. 9. VALSE CYNIQUE
Nr. 10. SCÈNE. PIECES
Nr. 11. SCÈNE. INCITER
Nr. 12. SCÈNE. EPIPHANY
Nr. 13. TANGO POETRY
Nr. 14. SCÈNE. LOST
Nr. 15. DANCE 1: RHYTHM
Nr. 16. DANCE 2: THUD
Nr. 17. DANCE 3: DRIVE
Nr. 18. TECHNO-CHACHA-DISCO-JIVE, QUICKLY STEPPED
Nr. 19. SCÈNE. DIONYSIAN WRITING
Nr. 20. VALSE ÉTERNELLE

SCÈNE FINALE

INTRODUCTION

L a r g h e t t o, 3/4 time

I'm gone since I lost you
a fragment without you
have tried to unthink you
have sought to replace you

but all so has failed me
and now that it dawns me
your image within me:
a construct to pin me

the power I gave you
the words that I sent you
have fallen before you
but never quite due you

whenever now see we
whenever now hear we
whenever now know we
forever shall fall we?

Nr. 1. SCÈNE. MELANCHOLIA

what shall I say
what could I say
what could possibly be said
what could possibly
be
so sad
that I won't speak it
leak it
seek it
to be said?
seeking just
to be sad?

word games
mind games
mime games
meme games
babbling keys I'm striking here
babbling all
like pebbles
hurting themselves
clashing in the sound
of a cherry keyboard

do I cultivate reality
or do I just
for the sake of gravity
adhere to an image
in a fog of sadness?

there's a difference
between melancholy and depression
the latter you suffer from
the former you lay upon you
all by yourself
the world's all gravity
put on your shoulders
quite by intention

as can't I be Helios
want I be Sysiphos
or try be Icarus,
hoping to soften the fall
while having tried
at least?

so,
is there a light
at the end of the tunnel?
and if I can't see it,
well, why shan't I make it!

Nr. 2. VALSE JOYEUSE

T e m p o   d i   V a l s e

one two three one two three one two three one two three
flows the step grows the step humming all music-filled
see the floor see the feet see what links you and me
moves it all, moves it us, feels as if up we tilt

turns it all turn we all shifts now the world around
all that was heavy once, all we had carried so
fades it to nothingness, levity all abound!
seek now what's gullible, seek just what lets us go

move now from side to side, waltz now around in cheer
asking not, what's in vain, asking just, what's to gain
seek not who draws us down, seek now who holds us dear,
see, what, in straight and skewed, all that is good and sane!

fear not, 'tis day to come, fear not, no monsters come,
hush now, no parody, hush now, no irony,
quick, see the music work, feel now all pain undone,
hush now, it's looking good, all now let simply be!

Nr. 3. SCÈNE. MEMETIC FRENZY

Nr. 4. SCÈNE. INSOMNIA

I've killed my self tonight
need to resurrect
what's mine
lost it once so
to forces unleashed by dreams and illusions
can sleep I -
want dream I -
or would I get lies just
inside quite said dreams
alluding to people not there
or others, in different a function, respected must stay they
so kill I will
the I in mind
so that I'll get silence
get silenced
by force
(a liquid one
for liquid a state)
it's true
that heal just you can't no thing in that way
but still, you may but forget
for a while
I'll be back tomorrow
for now but, I've pulled my plug
am waiting now
to drop
(I've fallen already)

however we may ridicule a destiny
still looking we'll stay
for a destination
making sense
fulfilling the dream
(strange virus of the mind)

seek I pleasure just
(the pleasure and pain all)
pains it me
to see me suffer
quite from the outside
yea,
ain't that a sight:
the body seen from the sidelines
and the soul
quite nowhere to be seen

was it so bright
to think I could kill the soul
when it's not the soul
but the body
holding the reign?
but killing the body -
how then
to sometime
redeem
my
self?

writing is madness
obsession
insanity
craze

so how could I not
quite lose
my self

inside the text the memes built quite?

Nr. 5. SCÈNE. PLEA

I want you
to return my heart
give back it to me
out of your hands
it's bleeding still
oh, please
give it back
need feel I
again
my love

Nr. 6. SCÈNE. REMINDER

you know
do you
in retrospect
everything's different
in writing
everything's formed
in art
life
is not mimicked but forced:
a fantasy
so freed from all worries
all quarrels
concessions:
and all
become angels

Nr. 7. MARCHE. HEARTBEAT

goes the beating
hear them fleeting
flee the seconds
see, here reckons
life with death quite
dark in, out light?
light the fire
all aspire
pyre tamed not
still the heart shot
beats it bangs all
sees the downfall
see, I'm mad quite
see, I'm made quite
by what's gone now
(by who's gone now)
still I linger
still the finger
lying, ready
(who's the baddie)
out the flicker
pull the trigger
brain by heart shot
(deadly meme-clot)

Nr. 8. SCÈNE. NELLA CITTÀ

e per sì
la città
non è la propria
d' ella
yes, Rome
does not
belong
to her
for far too long
I've ascribed it to her
a domain
so filled with pain
and wonder
now
as I reclaim
what's right fully
quite mine as well
lose I the last grain of power
still laid upon me
shake lose my self I will
at this place
this final one
the primal one
prima facie
prima la grazia
prima stazione
per donna mia
perdona me
perdisti me

the fiction may end now
its own Beatrice
my mind has created
yet shan't follow here I
down into purgat'ry
my comedy
's not that divine
I know
'tis just an image in my head
and I need let govern
my society of mind
once now
again

so
have then created I
a figment
a shape
an imaginary foe
and love

Nr. 9. VALSE CYNIQUE

T e m p o   d i   V a l s e

one two three one two three one two three one two three
flows the step grows the step humming all music-filled
see the floor see the feet see what links you and me
moves it all, moves it us, feels as if up we tilt

turns it all turn we all shifts now the world around
all that was heavy once, all we had carried so
fades it to nothingness, levity all abound!
seek now what's gullible, seek just what lets us go

move now from side to side, waltz now around in cheer
asking not, what's in vain, asking just, what's to gain
seek not who draws us down, seek now who holds us dear,
see, what, in straight and skewed, all that is good and sane!

fear not, 'tis day to come, fear not, no monsters come,
hush now, no parody, hush now, no irony,
quick, see the music work, feel now all pain undone,
hush now, it's looking good, all now let simply be!

NR. 10. SCÈNE. PIECES

pick up the pieces we
pick up
on what's to be
and what's been seen
pick up
not because we can
just simply because
we must
for what
else?

NR. 11. SCÈNE. INCITER

drunk'ness
is a way for artists
and for only artists now
you see:
an artist needs
the unobstructed memes
and the matters behind
all thought
and perception
an artist
needs to see
what's hidden
look behind
the obfuscation
of the real:
I feel,
sometimes,
I need to shut down the mind
in order to really now see
what's in there:
I need to obstruct
what purpose I'd make
and need
to see
behind
that
what's there
and, too,
I need to switch
to turn me off
some time
I need
a truest
kick
in the head
I fear
to stop!
this god-forbidden
meme-machine
for now,
nite-nite
(wee, wee)
is that the voice of Aeolus
carrying Dionysos?
well, anyway;
ta

NR. 12. SCÈNE. EPIPHANY

see I here now:
attached I've my self
to an image of her
obsessed I've become
with an idol, a thought
a version
not truth
my vita nuova
a sublimation
transcending the substance
transcending
what's been
my Beatrice
's just this:
a figment
a sign
a useful construction
tormenting my soul
while driving it on
become an idea it has but
to free me
in turn

NR. 13. TANGO POETRY

goes now, goes the step, walks the step
(slow slow quick quick slow quick quick slow)
slow, now, slowly all, starting now
all this is a game, is a ruse
see we all in turn, all in move
some here stilting high, some in line,
links now forming some, promenades,
is there movement here, motion, sense?
rhyming is a game to be played
once there's nothing more to be gained
from the certainty hid in prose:
(slow slow quick quick slow quick quick slow)
there's now rushing here, nowhere near:
let the music play, let it reign
there's no losing here when it's on
think just, when you leave, go in time
that it's playing still, keep in mind
keep it all in mind, let it reign:
let the rhythm be when you walk
let it, let it all be your guide
(slow slow quick quick slow quick quick slow)
leave now, soon it ends, make belief:
that it never ends, always plays:
plays it, plays it all, off you go:
once all's in your head, all is safe:
goes it, once you go, now quickly pause:
go you don't care:
--- and all is gone.
(how quick it went)

NR. 14. SCÈNE. LOST

I'm lost
can you find me
I'm lost
don't you mind me
I'm lost
in a strain
of words
in a game
that quite hurts
in a train
of words
can I be found
or am I now bound
to wander quite endlessly
wander around
wonder
not aimlessly
yet aims not just found
but to make them (how hard)
and to take them (and part)
how
now
find
mind
sane
game
play
stay
lost

NR. 15. DANCE 1: RHYTHM

some say
music is absolute
it flows
it needs to be listened to
and can be played
just anywhere
in any a mood
with swing or without
but what do you do
with the weight of the sound pushing upon you
descending
and crushing in
a soundscape not merely
yet an inciter
a pusher
a maker
of movement and form
a language not
a programming, more ratherly
to be put into action
into a movement
of soul
and of body

NR. 16. DANCE 2: THUD

just a strike
a single one
another one coming?
expected it is
what moves now from here?
what rhythm will follow?
what foot shall go forward?
or backward?
or sideways, perhaps, if you please?
an indication
is all we are waiting for
some undertones
that's nice
but where's the essentials:
where's the next thud?
where's the directions
for what to do next?
(we could be doing anything, alright,
but where'd be the fun in that?)
sometimes
too free a style
gives nothing to do
and interpretation
can be as inspired
as mere a creation
and how to respond
becomes a universe
of possibilities
all in itself

NR. 17. DANCE 3: DRIVE

forward now
you've heard it start
the next one has thundered
not more shall be blundered
the one we have here
shall not here be squandered
as goes it now
as flows it now
it cannot be stepped
can hardly here directed be
just hold on now tight
for takes it now flight

NR. 18. TECHNO-CHACHA-DISCO-JIVE, QUICKLY STEPPED

one two three four
easy now go
sure it is simple
yet don't you, sometimes
what it to be different?
hear you it clearly
here now's a thought:
what hears your brain
and what hear your ears?

if want I
could I
quite
create
a cha cha in my mind
and add a boogie
woogying on
in a jive
of insanity
quickly now holding
some foxy steps
trotting quite easily
tapping
into the thuds oh so technicall
right in my mind
one two tap cha cha cha quick quick slow
(add a spin)
(and some turns)
and what's next?
translate you a valse to a slow-fox now here?
how insane would that be
so, let us see
(sometimes
I fear
there's little difference left
between dancing
and life)

NR. 19. DIONYSIAN WRITING

sometimes
I figure
I'm just being quicker
with the help of Dionysos
(if not motor-wise, of course)
now, 's this plain pathetic
or just realistic
(and what would be better?)
or worse?
to be
sure
?

shall bottle you in
or let but roam freely
what's inside
your mind?

oh, how I fear
'bout things getting out
thoughts be let loose
feelings, much more so
(if fall they on hearts unaccustomed to them)

sometimes, diplomacy
remains
the golden path

yet not in art

yet not in life

(yet sometimes,
don't need to protect you
those who you love
from what could be crushing them
choking them:
closeness in thought)

(what sets you free
might put another one in pain)

what kind of price tag
be put
on that?

oh, how can it be:
I can be drunk
and sober
at the same time

(nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit)

could an artist, though perturbed,
not be saner then
through such incessant introspection?

want pretend we
to be more
than just animals
deny we
what's in us
what drives us
deep down?

an animal
in search of the meaning of life
how cute

the truth
shall set you free?
oh,
sometimes,
confusion's more honest than anything else

ha!

ta ta

for now

?

Nr. 20. VALSE ÉTERNELLE

T e m p o   d i   V a l s e

one two three one two three one two three one two three
flows the step grows the step humming all music-filled
see the floor see the feet see what links you and me
moves it all, moves it us, feels as if up we tilt

turns it all turn we all shifts now the world around
all that was heavy once, all we had carried so
fades it to nothingness, levity all abound!
seek now what's gullible, seek just what lets us go

move now from side to side, waltz now around in cheer
asking not, what's in vain, asking just, what's to gain
seek not who draws us down, seek now who holds us dear,
see, what, in straight and skewed, all that is good and sane!

fear not, 'tis day to come, fear not, no monsters come,
hush now, no parody, hush now, no irony,
quick, see the music work, feel now all pain undone,
hush now, it's looking good, all now let simply be!

SCÈNE FINALE

whenever now see we
whenever now hear we
whenever now know we
forever shall fall we?

even if wished we
for tabula rasa
we would have to make it
would have to shape it

and after all is said and done
once all the gravity has made its weight felt once again
there's only one thing left to say:
I'd rather be dancing

April 22, 2006