RECITATIVVM SECVNDVM: EPOS
All that so hurt as well all that so burnt just inside now is calling
All which in times just so past but then thought will come back now again so
Make all now seem just so small which in happiest thoughts used to dwell in
Happiest houses a childhood just held and in times but seemed diff'rent
Diff'rent to see and perceive and to call to existence and hear it
Sense just so fading away here in passage of time and these tears all
Used not to fade in the time you intended to live but were blocked so
Just with the pain and the asking and questions and all this around it
All that's around and among and in side you - the sense but has gone then,
Questions just mounting and leaving no space just to breathe or to sleep in.
Can't you just see all the questions that rise from what happened and hurt so
Can't you just feel all the horror inside with the terror out there so
Looks to your face, right into your own soul waiting that you will falter
Looks right into you, can't give you a break, not a spark of relaxing
All these in pitiful union now seen and the space crushed, diminished
Spaces that were once in matter or time are now cages which hold you
Cages that capture your soul, your insides, your excitement to live here -
Nothing stays calm here and nothing preserved which to calmness could lead you
All that remains are calamities, vexing and hunting you down now
Turning away you from absolute pleasure to sins of negation.
All that has beeen was illusion, a mask and a pitiful nothing
Nothing in truth, en verdad, in the essence we live and just thrive in
Nothing of substance, just babbling and hollow pretending of something
No obligation, no trust, no devotion - just lies and deception
How do you live with it, how do you cope, do you grasp your own being?
How do you manage to keep and uphold just this terrible silence?
How do you fathom to test your resolve in the future to come then?
How do you stand just the loneliness all now around you?
How is it nothing that true once can matter right here and right then so?
How can this be that my love was so suddenly taken away so?
What could I do, could I say, could I write, could however be trying?
What is the answer've been looking for all since this moment of sadness?
Is there an answer, a clue, a solution to cope with it, is there?
Is there a way I could make all which happened undone in my thinking?
Is there recovery, learning, and then, vindication and growing?
Is there some patience to find and some hope here to see, to encounter?
Is not the truth what has happened, the truth what I've seen and have heard then?
Is not the truth what from present perspective a past would be called so?
Is it not time which decides over truth or negation and falsehood?
Is it not time which decides what's just vanity, vain just in whole here?
What's then the truth, what's the path, ho kairós, or just dharma be named here?
Answers to find might just be what so ever a truth is believed then
Pragma to serve and just uses to follow and dying for ever -
Substance not seeking and vain so the thoughts and the deeds and all asking?
Past just a ruler and past's own dominion to seek and to cherish,
Love turning back into hatred and odious feelings to nourish,
Curses and lies and distortion then all which remains and invades you,
Future's a pit and a hole which you're stuck in and not to be freed from?
Is this the path here to choose, here to follow, to shape and promote here?
Is this the tale to be told in the future, the epos to sing?